My first year of college was anything but peachy when it came to sharing a room with another unfamiliar human being. So, if you find yourself in a less than ideal roommate situation at school, here are my basics to surviving this as best as you can!
1. Create and post the rules you have both agreed upon where both of you can see them.
For me, this was that our personal quiet hours started at 11:00 p.m. and no guests were allowed over unexpectedly. If you find yourself having to get up early, the last thing you want is a disrespectful roommate coming in with many people at one in the morning and making noise. It's college life, but the main point of college is to learn. It's harder to learn if you can't focus out of exhaustion. Make sure to enforce the rules if you need, and follow them as well.
2. Split the room evenly and stick to boundaries to avoid borrowed and missing items.
One of the bigger issues my first year was having items come up missing, just to find my dishes I put in our "shared area" dirty and my clothes smelling like weed because they were borrowed. Splitting the room and avoiding shared space may not solve this issue, but it may help a bit.
3. Report any activity from your roommate that makes you uncomfortable to your housing office.
Inspections are part of dorm life. I found my roommate left a bottle of vodka out in the open in an area that could have easily been mistaken as my side of the room. Instead of getting in trouble for it, I asked my RA for advice. Since my campus was a dry campus, my roommate got searched and written up. She was mad at me for the rest of the semester, but I didn't get in trouble for the alcohol being in our room.
4. Look out for yourself only.
My last explanation of how I reported my roommate may seem harsh, but I take my schooling seriously. I like to have fun, but I am there to make my education count solely. Having a drug or alcohol citation would impact my much needed federal aid, and that is a chance I was not willing to take. Look out for yourself and for your education. Don't feel obligated to take any falls or responsibility for actions that are your roommates and not your own.
5. Don't be afraid to ask them to clean up.
I felt myself constantly stressed by the lack of tidiness my roommate exhibited. I have slight OCD, so when things were out of place, I got stressed. The area you live in permanently should not cause you high stress or make you want to leave and not return. If you need things to be tidy for peace of mine, just to relieve your eyes, or to save your sense of smell, don't be scared to ask them to clean up. I found that cleaning your own side when they are around also promotes a need in them to be clean.
6. Occasionally buy your roommate a candy bar.
Candy is basically a peace offering. If your roommate is a laid back person who doesn't have many cares in life, they may see you as very uptight even if you are fun loving. Buying them occasional candy shows them that you still have some respect to give them, and it will ease things between you. Just don't do it too often, or you might seem like a kiss-up.
7. Communicate
One of the biggest problems my first roommate and I had was a lack of communication. We wanted things certain ways, but we were too shy or fed up to mention it. Having a lack of communication causes an uncertain tension between people, making for uncomfortable living arrangements between people. Most issues can be fixed with simple communication skills like talking or leaving simple non-passive aggressive notes for your roommate.
8. Average out the thermostat.
My first year, four people were in my suite. We shared one thermostat. There were two skinny girls and two curvy girls. The skinny girls liked it warm, and us curvy girls liked it cooler. It was such a battle between the 80's and mid 60's. Unfortunately, we never got to this in my room, but I seen other similar rooms average it out with their ideal temperatures and put a sticky note to agree to leave the thermostat at that average temperature unless they all agreed to change it. Remember, it's easier to get warm by layering up, but it is a bit trickier to cool off.
9. Make a chore chart.
Dorm suites have to have cooperation in order to function properly. Delegating chores between all the members of the dorm will help things to run more smoothly. It also avoids soreness of having someone feeling solely responsible for the cleaning of your habitat. Make sure to rotate so everyone gets good and bad chores and no one is given special treatment. If someone specifically wants to complete a chore in addition to their assigned one, make sure it's okay with the original person assigned, and then let them clean to their hearts content.
10. Get yourself out if you feel unsafe.
I hope you never have to use this piece of advice, but if you ever do feel unsafe, move yourself out of that room. Go talk to your housing office and request a change. More than often, they will be more than willing to work with you. I found myself in a situation where I was threatened with my life. Though I did not take the threat totally serious, I still went to my housing office director and asked for help. When they didn't take the threat seriously enough to ease my mind, I had my parents call on my behalf to stress how the threat was not okay. After that, the issue was taken more seriously and dealt with through roommate intervention. My roommate and I worked out our serious issues, but things were still tense. I did not have to move, but if you need to, for any reason that might be serious, then get yourself out of there.
It is my hope that you will not need this list with your roommates. Unfortunately, situations like this do occur for some, like myself. I hope that this list helps you understand and make decisions on how to handle your roommates. If you take anything away from this, let it be that you know to take care of yourself first and above all. Stand up for yourself and what you need to make things work for you. You have every right to take care of yourself. My hope is that this will help equip you and prepare you for some potential situations you may be placed in this upcoming school year.
