Well it’s almost that time of year again, the weather is slowly climbing back up into the forties and fifties, the sun has been shining most days, and Saint Patrick’s Day is right around the corner. Unlike other holidays, Saint Paddy’s is a designated drinking day for almost all of us. Don’t get me wrong, Saint Patrick’s Day holds a lot of meaning to the people of Ireland and their descendants spread throughout the world. Saint Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland and highly revered for expelling paganism and bringing Christianity to the Irish people.
As for the rest of us, my partially Irish self-included, March 17th means wearing green clothes, bumping "Shippin’ Up To Boston" on repeat and Irish Car Bombs at eight in the morning. No matter who you are or where you live, college students love Saint Paddy’s Day and the excuse it gives us to go crazy for a weekend. But if you’re not careful you could end up wasting a majority of this most sacred weekend passed out on some random bathroom floor. Allow me to educate you on the finer points of surviving Saint Paddy’s 2016.
1. It's A Marathon, Not A Sprint
The key to a successful day drink is to pace yourself. I understand the urge to immediately crack open that bottle of Jameson when you wake up and start the bender right away, but that right there is a one-way ticket to passing out at five in the afternoon. My recommendation is to start with a few drinks at home with your designated drinking partners, then start hitting the hard stuff once you’re showered and ready to leave for the day
2. Call Out Of Work Ahead Of Time
There’s nothing worse than rolling out of bed early for work on Friday morning while the room is spinning and stepping in the rest of that pizza you bought at three in the morning. Then you realize you have to look like you didn’t spend the night in a dumpster and deal with a bunch of people you can’t stand on a normal day. Wouldn’t you rather continue the party? Saint Paddy’s is on a Thursday this year after all, making it the perfect opportunity for a long weekend of debauchery. That’s why it’s extremely important to call out of work at least a week in advance. You can make up whatever excuse works, you know how your bosses work. I’m “going to visit my parents in New Jersey” for the weekend this year, always a classic. So don’t let yourself sit at a desk and wonder what time it will be acceptable to start drinking that flask of Bailey’s to prepare for the upcoming night, do yourself a favor and plan ahead.
3. Make Sure You Eat Something
We’re all smart enough to know what happens when you substitute alcohol for food; bad things. Your body needs fuel if you’re going to make it through the day. Luckily, Saint Patrick’s Day doesn’t just mean drinking like an Irishman (surprising right?) It means eating like one too. Corned beef and cabbage, soda bread, Irish stew, and of course, green bagels are the standard fare in most self-respecting bars or restaurants that day.
Even if you’re not a big fan of the Irish cuisine, it’s important to make sure that you have something in your stomach to keep you going through the night. If you’re like me, you also need coffee at least in the morning, and probably a couple of times throughout the day. Have no fear, the Irish have a solution for that too; Irish coffee! There’s no better way to get some energy back in you while still keeping up that buzz than hot coffee with Irish whiskey and Bailey’s Irish cream. No matter where you spend Saint Patrick’s Day this year remember, food is your friend, and the key to staying out of the drunk tank.
4. No Breaks Allowed
If you’ve ever day drank before, then you’ll know what I’m talking about here. After about five or six hours of drinking, your body starts making you think you need to take a break. Your body is trying to fool you. Say you’ve been awake and actively drinking since nine in the morning. Around three or four in the afternoon, you’re going to want to stop for a while and take a nap. I don’t recommend this course of action. Sure, you think you can go back and sleep for an hour then wake up and keep partying with the best of them, but you can’t. In reality, you’ll take a four-hour nap, wake up stone cold sober with no motivation to keep drinking, and sit at home alone.
If this sounds appealing to you then by all means, take a nap! But if you want to be where the fun happens and make some memories with your friends, then push through it and stay awake. When this feeling hits it’s a good idea to slow down your alcohol consumption, maybe stop drinking right from the bottle and make yourself a mixed drink, stop gravitating around the keg waiting for your next keg stand, or take a break from playing beer pong and relax for a little. This is usually a good time to go and get something to eat; you’ll feel much better afterwards. The moral of the story here is that slowing down is a better idea than taking a nap, trust me.
5. Everyone Is Irish On Saint Paddy's Day
I’m assuming Saint Patrick didn’t plan on his feast day becoming one of the world’s biggest designated drinking days, but slowly that is exactly what it has become. However, I’m sure he would love the amount of Irish pride that takes place on the day. The luck of the Irish shines down on everyone on March 17th. If you don’t actually have an Irish blood n you don’t worry about it, just appreciate the sea of green shirts and hats, the raucous music of the Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly, and the smooth refreshing taste of Guinness on your lips. Embrace the day and the culture. Eat some corned beef, do an Irish car bomb (if you’re up to it), Riverdance in the streets and don’t forget to kiss someone who actually is Irish!
6. Please Drink Responsibly
I know this might contradict everything I just said, but it goes without saying that you should drink responsibly and take care of yourself and anyone who looks like they’ve been drinking too much. Alcohol impairs the body in too many ways to count, including your ability to make good decisions. If you’re with a group of friends make sure to look out for each other. If one of you gets too drunk don’t just leave them because you want to keep on partying, take them home and make sure they’re safe. If you want to make a run to the liquor store after running out or for whatever reason think you need to drive somewhere, don't. Find a sober driver or order an Uber. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “we’re college students we know how to drink”, but everyone needs a friendly reminder every now and then.
With that being said, everyone have a safe and enjoyable Saint Patrick’s Weekend, I’ll be back in two months for a follow up on our next favorite traditional drinking holiday; Cinco de Mayo! Until then remember, if you see a leprechaun he’ll probably take you to his pot of gold if you buy him a beer.
