Everyone has experienced some sort of social anxiety. Admit it, we remember you aimlessly walking around at the junior high Winter Formal avoiding eye contact with your crush because you didn't know what to say.
There I was, graduating high school, leaving behind the relationships that had been nearly 13 years in the making. I was comfortable around these people. They had been by my side through countless life moments: Stumbling through the awkward stages that manifest themselves in the form of puberty, earning the coveted "license," several proms, numerous breakups with significant others and now graduation. Myself and the other 153 graduates of the class of 2013 were gathering for the last time as an entire group, with only our destinies and half-thought out lived ahead of us.
For many, this was an exciting opportunity. Each graduate had exciting plans, whether it be moving away to a new, exciting location for University, entering into a professional trade, or starting a family. However, in my case, a crippling fear overcame my body and mind almost immediately as I crossed the stage and received my high school diploma.
What did I have to fear? I was accepted into a local University with various scholarships based on academic merit. Everything seemed to be falling into place perfectly, aside from the crashing and burning of the comfort zone that I had enveloped myself in throughout high school. To my dismay I no longer had the luxury of surrounding myself amongst familiar group of friends, in a familiar setting, with a familiar schedule. The social aspect that is the behemoth of college terrified me to my very core.
Walking to my first class as a freshman can easily be classified as one of the most terrifying experiences that I’ve had to date, knowing virtually no one, in an unfamiliar location, not knowing what to expect. I had always been a friendly individual, though I never felt comfortable approaching new people; I quickly felt my social anxiety flaring as hundreds of unfamiliar faces and personalities bustled around campus. I knew that I would be able to make friends if given the opportunity, though I remained too socially introverted to ‘make the first move’ of friendship.
As a commuter, I soon purposely only came to campus just in time to make it to class, and left as soon as possible so to avoid any awkward social contact with unfamiliar people. I had convinced myself that my social days were over as I walked across the graduation stage during high school. Unfortunately, I held this idea for the entirety of my freshman year. An entire year of ‘the college experience’ was lost due to my irrational fear of social interactions with unfamiliar people.
Changing the tide of the course
As I transitioned into my sophomore year of college, I quickly recognized that social networking was imperative to success in the professional world. What could I, as a virtually unknown student, do to network at this point? Was all hope lost for my social life? Negative, Ghost Rider. Little did I know, but my social experiences at college were just warming up.
1. Go to Events
Yes, even if it be something as simple as a corn-hole tournament. There will be people in a similar position to you at these events. Chances are, they’re looking for a friend too. Who knows, you may meet your college best friend at a university sponsored BINGO game.
2. Don’t be afraid to initiate conversation
I met one of my now best friends while standing in line at an on-campus dining facility. We were both waiting on our salads to be prepared. I felt extra spontaneous that day for whatever reason, and commented to her that I also enjoyed the same salad that she had ordered. Something as simple as a seemingly trivial comment opened a new relationship for me that has lasted until the present day.
3. Join a Club/Group/Organization
Fortunately, I pledged a fraternity early in my college career; easily the best choice to make in regards to social networking, leadership development, and overall experience. Connecting with aspiring individuals across Greek life allowed me to make new friends from all aspects of life; a true network where everyone is rooting for you. I also soon joined various other interest groups on campus which resulted in meeting a plethora of like minded individuals who held similar views on issues, therefore making social interaction a breeze.
4. Don’t be afraid to try something new
This isn’t a justification to go off of the deep end, but it does encourage you to ‘break the comfort zone’. The comfort zone that I had in high school is what caused all of this distress initially. College is a place for finding out who you are as a person, what your interests are academically, theologically, and socially. Doesn’t let fear of the unknown hinder your development as a person, and student.
5. Let go of stereotypes
This is the one that most often plagues the social world of 2016. Too often individuals judge one another by their physical appearance, what their surface interest may be, or who they may be hanging out with at the time. A human being is much too complex to form an opinion on simply by casting a judging glance in the direction of an individual. I too struggled with this, as growing up in southern Ohio, judgment and the developments of stereotypes are rampant. Thankfully, in an effort to ‘branch out’ in college, I let the misconceptions go. As soon as I done so, a plethora of relationship exposed themselves, and I successfully saw the wonders that the world had to offer through the haze of judgment and stereotypes.
Summing it all together
Because of forcing myself to face my irrational fears, and prodding myself into the social world, I now find confidence in my abilities to successfully meet new people, regardless of the situation. Because of my initially forced interactions across campus, I now have some of the greatest friends that there could be. Fear of social interactions can be crippling, though once broken, the rewards are endless. Now, as a junior on campus, serving as the president of one organization, and an officer of the largest fraternity on campus, I can only look back at my freshman self with disgust. Disgust for letting a simple, self-manifested fear hinder my first year experience. The college experience is exactly what you make it, why not make it great?
