How To Survive When It Doesn't Seem Possible

How To Survive When It Doesn't Seem Possible

This is to anyone that needs it.
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I have written articles about body-shaming, dealing with depression, and self-empowerment before. However, I have never been able to take my own advice. I would write the article with all of my heart and send it to those I knew needed it most, but then turn around and not take the advice or apply it to my own life.

When waves of depression and anxiety hit me, I fall beneath the surface and refuse to come back up for air until the wave has disappeared.

When all of my subjects for journalism classes began to bail and I had to scramble, I snapped a chain around my ankle. I let it drag me down and hold me back from doing the best I could.

When I was directly bullied about my weight by someone I thought I could trust, I broke. I sobbed hysterically in my room when no one was around. I became conscious of every single bite I took and how it would make me look to others.

The moral of the story is that I was more willing to drown than to fight for my right to survive. But not anymore. It was like a switch went off in my heart that said: "Nope, you're going to fight".

Since these issues arose in my life, I have taken steps to improve my mental health. I have started going to therapy, taking medicine, and working on strategies to keep myself calm. I have worked tirelessly to make my final project amazing — and it's now being published into a book. Not to brag.

Most importantly, I have confronted the person that bullied me, cried to them, and let them know that they truly broke my self-esteem. I can't speak for that person, but I truly hope that they have learned the consequences of their actions and refuse to treat others that way ever again.

To survive, as defined by Merriam-Webster is as follows:

"To continue to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship".

I survived. I pushed my way back to the top. I went back to look at my previous advice and finally trusted myself to know what is best for me. I've learned how to speak my mind and not submit to ideals that I don't agree with.

This is a plea to anyone that needs it. I am not feeding you any cliché advice or giving you ideas on how you should empower yourself. I am simply telling you to survive. Whatever that means to you, please use it. If it means striving to better yourself or even getting past a hard time in your life with what little strength you have, do it.

To end this article, I am using a quote from one of my favorite authors in her book "Zodiac".

"Trust in your fears, they are real" - Romina Russell

Listen to your instincts. If they are telling you something, believe them. They are telling you how to survive the unsurvivable and how to be OK.

If you or anyone else you know is struggling with suicide, please click the link below for resources and any help that you may need. You are not alone and you are worth it.

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Cover Image Credit: Wikipedia Plants Growing

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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If You Want To Die Tonight, Please Read This

I want you to live. More importantly, I want you to want to live.

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If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Drowning.

Drowning.

Drowning.

Drowning.

The thoughts are deafening, screaming at you that the world would be better off without you and that no one would care if you were gone.

So, you find yourself on the Internet, searching for ways to die in a relatively painless way that will leave the least amount of mess for others. You find yourself thinking about the bridge a half mile from your house or the assortment of pills lining the walls of your medicine cabinet. You remember that your roommates will not be home from class for a few hours; that you are totally alone.

And then, in your Internet search for ways to finally escape the pain, you happen upon this article.

Yes, this one right here.

This one telling you to stay.

And, well, you find yourself still reading along because a piece of you, even if it is the smallest piece of your existence, wants a reason to live.

* * *

I am not sure what is causing you pain, and maybe you honestly are not sure either. All you know is that you have this pain — this never-ending pain — and it's become enough.

Society tells us that we need to tattoo a smile onto our faces and pretend that everything is OK even when we are aching on the inside. If you take one thing away from this article, I want you to remember this — it is OK not to be OK. It is OK if you are not OK today or tomorrow or next week or a year from now. However, one day, it will be a little better and there will be a little bit of sunshine peeking out through the clouds.

I want you to live. More importantly, I want you to want to live.

And, sometimes, wanting to live is about just noticing the little things that make you happy and remembering them.

Like the way the sun looks glistening off of the lake by your house at 5:47 p.m. on a Thursday evening.

Or the way the scent of your coffee creeps up your nostrils while it cools to a drinkable temperature.

Or the fact that a new episode of your family's favorite show is coming on this Thursday.

Or the way your Lush bath bomb colors your water into beautiful shades of blue and green and yellow and pink.

Or the dinner your Mom cooked for tonight to share with you, your Dad, and your sister.

* * *

Life may not turn out how you plan, but perhaps that is not a bad thing.

God has a plan for you.

Why the plan involves you feeling this way, I do not know, but I do know that God did not bring you into this world to suffer.

You deserve help.

You deserve love.

You deserve to be supported.

Even if you feel alone, I promise you are never alone.

You can text "Hello" to 741-741 at any hour of the day and someone will be there to support you.

* * *

So, tonight while you want to die, please just think about the last time you smiled so hard that your face physically hurt or laughed until you almost peed. Just think about a time that you felt something besides what you are feeling now and hold onto it.

Hold onto it, lie down, and go to sleep.

And wake up tomorrow knowing that you are a survivor.

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