We moved out of our residence halls almost two months ago. Some goodbyes were tearful; other goodbyes were cheerful. We said we’d meet up over the summer, or Skype when we had time (but that’s not really happening very often). We still Snapchat and text, but it’s not the same.
When we were at school, we saw each other every day. Not only that, but we were often together for hours at a time on any given day. We ate our meals together, did our homework together, watched television, played video games, and had classes together. We teased each other and loved each other. We supported each other like no other friends I’ve ever had.
I’ll never forget our late-night food runs or the time we stayed awake into the wee hours of the morning to celebrate a birthday by going to buy hot chocolate at three in the morning. I love that we all went to each other’s concerts and genuinely loved seeing our friends perform. I love that they all made me laugh until I had tears running down my face. Ours is one of the best friendships that I’ve ever been blessed with.
Summer is tough. They say that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, and I’m really feeling that right now. I wish that my friends were only a two-minute walk away from me like they were at school, and that we could all grab dinner together at 5 o’clock like usual. I’m glad that I can stay in contact with each of them, but I’m really missing the dynamic we have when we’re all together in person. We always complained that we didn’t get enough hugs, and now I’m really missing the ones I got even then.
Three months away from all of my friends is proving more difficult than I expected. It’s hard to stay in touch in ways that seem genuine. The way that I most often communicate love for my friends is through hugs. That’s usually what feels right to me. The next most common way for me is through other actions. I end up being a worrier and a bit of an overprotective mama bear for my friends. I’m the friend who’s always saying “Text me when you get home safely,” and “Have you eaten any vegetables lately? Drink some water,” and “You should get some sleep so you’re ready for your quiz tomorrow,” and “Do you need your towels washed? I’m running a load.” I want my friends to be taken care of, so I’ll do little things for them.
Since “just telling them” doesn’t even make the list of the top two ways I tell my friends that I love them, I worry that my friends don’t know how important they are to me. This is what makes summer so difficult for me. Because our schedules are crazy and we live so far apart, the only way I can communicate with my friends is through words. I can’t go give them hugs and I can’t go buy them lemonade or milk when I know they need it. I have to talk to them, and that’s just so difficult for me. I don’t know how to tell people that I miss them without seeming clingy or weird (although by this far into this article, that ship has probably sailed).
It’s tough being a girl who loves a lot but is bad at expressing her feelings. Curse you, personality.
Dear friends,
I miss you. I love you. I cannot wait to see you in the fall.
