I came into the summer tired, broken, lost and somewhere in between not caring about anything and caring about the smallest things. I was a lost soul searching for something or somebody. I didn't know exactly what I was looking for or trying to achieve, but I knew something needed to be done because I felt empty. I wanted to feel loved and I was looking in all the wrong directions. I would look in the mirror and see a whole different person staring back at me. I had no personality, no motivation and my passions were fading. Nightmare after nightmare, night after night of waking up crying and going through the motions of my day to day routine, I finally had a break through.

I realized I could stand on my own two feet and that the only person who was holding on to the past was me. I was the one constantly checking to see how people were doing or to see if you would come back to me. Then it hit me that you couldn't care less about me and what I am doing so why should I worry, why should I be so wrapped up in you're life. So I finally let go, I deleted all the pictures, started throwing away the keepsakes and I let myself hit rock bottom. From that moment on, I started to build myself from the ground up. I started to find my value and my self worth.

While building myself up again, I found new things I'm passionate about, I gained a new arsenal of skills, I found peace in my writing, I started reading again, I pushed harder to fulfill my dreams, I planned vacations, I worked my ass off at every corner and I finally learned how to love myself. I learned to laugh at the small things and to smile through the good and the bad days. I learned that a man does not define you're worth and I've shown myself and others that taking three months for yourself is and was the best thing I've could have ever done. I know that I am an strong independent women with a heart of gold. I am made to do much more in life and accomplish so much more. I didn't let this break me or hold me down. A person dear to me once said "Life is about choices and consequences, make good choices in life so you don't spend your whole life dealing with consequences." I have done many things that I am not proud of in the past and I live with the consequences from the choices I made. From this day forward, I will be the person I know I was born to be. I will look in the mirror and see a kind hearted, educated queen. I will see a women that loves herself and loves the life she lives.