Suicide Is Not The Answer

Suicide Is Not The Only Way Out, We All Have A Savior

There is someone out there wants to help out. Do you realize it?

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While depression is a mental illness in itself, suicide is not. However, suicide is a serious potential consequence of those mental disorders. The many warning signs and triggers for suicide include major depression, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, and substance abuse.

The most common cause of suicide is that someone feels like that no one can help them...or save them.

Believe it or not, someone's savior is out there every day willing to help them. People don't enjoy asking for help because they are reluctant and resistant at first. That's the first step to recovery: realizing that you're not well and that you need to talk to someone. It's next to impossible to advance in today's society if you neglect the fact that something in your head is telling you to talk to someone and see them on a regular basis.

Here's the one thing that people are afraid of when they want to ask for help: how do they do it effectively? How do you impose upon people without making them feel imposed on? As mentioned, your first step is to get over your reluctance to get assistance, but there's more to it than that.

In order to get over this mindset, you need to understand that some of the most common ways of asking for help are really unproductive. This is because they make people less likely to want to give it. The easiest way of overcoming the personal demon is realizing most people are more than willing to lend a hand and relate to what is wrong with the person.

A big example is myself. When I first moved to my community, I was about 7 or 8 years old. I went to a different school district, met new students, new kids, new teachers, and it was really intimidating for me. I struggled to fit in, often bullied, and did everything I could to isolate myself from everyone. Those actions for me carried all throughout elementary school, to the final weeks of my senior year in high school.

That's right. For over a decade, I had been a loner, not wanting anything to do with anyone or anything, and refused to get help because I was depressed with the thought that no one would want to help me. During twelfth grade, I began to admit that I was depressed but never really came to terms with it. I often denied it even though it was pretty obvious I was. It wasn't until years later that I came to terms with my depression and started seeing my therapist on a regular basis.

The key to a successful request for help is to turn your focus to the benefits of realizing your problems to the person you want to have helped you. You want to persuade them to be helping because they want to, not because they must, and that they're in control of the decision.

This is why suicide seems like the best option for people struggling to find help. They are in a mindset that because they are unwilling to help themselves, no one will ever help them and that they are better off dead. Saying things like, "Nobody can save me," or "What's the point of going on?" are scary signs that mean bad things.

Never believe that suicide and running away from your problems are the best answers and solutions.

Whoever made the phrase "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" was a very wise person. Someone out there does care about what you are going through and how much you struggle. It is up to you to break out of your shell, conquer the demons that hold you back, and get the help that is necessary for you to live the life you want to live.

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

From an outside perspective, suicidal thoughts are rarely looked into deeper than the surface level. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is that people live in between those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead.

You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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Depression Is A Balancing Act That Is And Isn't In Our Control

Managing depression can sometimes feel overwhelming.

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*Warning: Before reading any further is that this article will be talking about heavy topics such as depression and suicide.*

Depression in this day and age is a very sticky topic to talk about. Yes, we are becoming more aware and accepting of the issue, but we still have a long ways to go in terms of really know how we can be there for people in a way that's most effective and where they don't feel judged because of it.

I have dealt with depression most of my life and especially going through college. It didn't become a big thing for me till I came to college, and then having to navigate my issue of it. Whether that's talking about it friends vaguely about it, bottling it all in, going for professional help, etc. It's one of the many reasons why I'm afraid of meeting someone new, or wanting to be in a relationship, I was afraid of the judgment and feeling that if I told someone they either might not want to do anything with me, say it's too much for them, etc.

Now some of those fears, in my opinion, were unjustified in a sense that yes even though it is important for people to be there for me in my time of need, I need to be conscious of how much I share and whether they can take that piece of me I shared. It's a balancing act that is hard to manage, but it allows me for a much-needed look into myself of what actually makes me happy, what doesn't, what triggers my depression and going out of my way to make sure I don't let it take control of me.

The depression took me to places, very dark places that I'm happy to have push through, with my depression it made my thoughts go into suicidal ideation, and even hurting myself, an act that I never thought I would ever do but thankfully I had people in my life that helped me overcome that and going to talk to a professional.

Depression is a mental health issue that most everyone struggles with regardless of where they're at in life, it can come like a tidal wave, or not at all. It's an internal struggle with ourselves, and we do our best trying to get through it. I know that I'm not alone in this, and if you're reading this you're not alone either.

Don't be afraid to talk about it, but be mindful of other people and how much you can share in order for them to be able to process it, go for professional help, exercise, hang out with friends. Don't let depression fully control your life, it won't go away but if we can manage it in a way that helps us be able to keep it under control then that's a win.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

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