Yesterday on the subway, my younger sister Jordan gave her seat up to a mom who jumped on with her two daughters. Jordan didn't even question it, just stood up and offered her seat up after the two little girls, bundled tight in their puffy winter coats, sat down next to her. She said they'd probably want to sit next to their mom instead. There was also this little girl across the car, a bright pink scarf wrapped around her head, held in place by these vibrant, fluffy ear muffs. Before she got off the train, she walked over to the two little girls, held her gloved hand out in a wave and said "Okay, bye!" and touched her tiny hand to theirs for a single heartbeat. It was the sweetest thing to witness. The sisters huddled together didn't know her, they were strangers-- all so tiny their feet dangling off the seats, nowhere near touching the floor--but the fluffy fuchsia scarf wearing little lady walked up to these two girls she's never met to wish them goodbye. Her voice was so sweet, high and light and her small hand was wrapped up in such a bright pink glove, she was luminescent. Happy and young and joyous, her baby face tilted up, wide eyes sparkling. It was a sight to witness. They all smiled at each other, their faces like newborn puppies all snuggling together-- that kind of cuteness overload. I looked through the closing doors and saw the little girl, sparkly backpack swaying, dancing joyously on the platform as her mom looked for directions to their next location. Her hands were waving to a song playing in her head, feet momentarily lifting off the ground in a jump. She was such a bright spot in a sea of unsmiling faces. I never want her to experience heartbreak or uncertainty. Want her to stay that bright and smiling-- hope she never has to learn about disappointment or evil or have anyone act out against her for no reason other than their own self-hatred. I can hope, but I know she will likely experience something of that matter all the same. Which is wrong and upsetting and should not be how it is.

New York at night. Photo Via: Amanda Edelman

I think we become so wrapped up in our own problems that, despite the scale, nothing else seems comparable. Everyone else's problems seem to pale in comparison to what we're experiencing here and now. I think that's the mindset we individually perpetuate and I think it's a subconscious act. Not born from lack of awareness but from our own tendencies to internalize every mishap and misstep that we take. Seeing those girls smiling at each other, waving goodbye, it was the oddest little reminder to leave my own thoughts and worries to the wayside for a bit-- a moment I didn't know I needed to see to let my own madness and issues disappear, fade off in a way I wasn't sure was possible.

I'm thinking of the girl, currently missing after she was harassed on a train for practicing her religion. I'm thinking about the current hate narrative perpetuated by the political climate. How hate crimes have increased expediently within the last few months.

Now I'm in a car, jammed up in traffic and the sky outside is pale in comparison to yesterday's blue but I'm willing to embrace it. Willing to look for the little bits of humanity evident in life’s little moments. Willing to see everything, even as it continues moving so fast around me. Trying to not bury my head in the sand or get too scared to see every aspect, even the bad. As unsettling as it remains. To reconcile the terrible with the good people react with, the surge of empathy that seems so lacking at times. Think of the tiny girls and their happy smiles as their new friend toddled off to her next adventure. How they became friends with one single goodbye. I hope those girls only grow up under the best of circumstances. That sadness and terror never find them. As idealistic as that seems, I can still hope.