I opened my eyes and all I saw was darkness. I had woken up suddenly from a nightmare. A nightmare where the doctors told me that it was cancer. That I had a year to live. A year to tell those that I love just how much I love them. A year to accomplish all of my hopes and dreams. A year. A blink. One breath.
When you are living with chronic illness it's like you are living in the dark. The unknown. Uncharted waters that we never thought we would see or face in all of our time here on earth. Most days we feel like we are just stumbling through the darkness, trying to grasp and hold on to any hope or ray of light that comes our way. We try to lift our eyes from our circumstances, we try to go about our day like we used to before the sudden turn of events, and are just continually reminded that life will never be the same.
I woke up when I was on vacation a few weeks ago and it was truly a morning of bliss. A morning where I didn't think about the pain. A morning where I didn't think about what was ahead. A morning where I laughed like I hadn't laughed in a long time.
Can't we all relate in some way and aren't those the days that we all live for? The days where we can come out of the darkness, into the light, and just bask in the goodness and warmth that the sun brings? If there is one thing that we can take away from darkness, it's the fact that without darkness we wouldn't know or get to experience the glory and goodness of the contrast that is light.
"I need Thee, O, I need Thee. Every hour I need Thee. My one defense, my righteousness. O God, how I need Thee."
I find myself singing these words more and more each day. Not only because of my unknown journey to find answers for my health, but because, guys... life is hard and let's be honest... we all can relate to that!
We all have some form of darkness in our lives that we are trying to find our way through. We are all trying to make sense of this life that we are living.
I don't know where life finds you today or what darkness you may be facing. It may be the reality of chronic illness, it may be a broken family, a broken marriage, abuse, or an addiction of some sort. I don't know if you've heard of this light that I'm talking about. It's not just the light that we wake up to after a bad dream. It's not just the light that we feel on our faces after a long cold winter. It's the light of the One who fought on your behalf and died for our hearts and souls. It's the light of the One whose love never fails and never ends. It's the light of the one who calls YOU by NAME. This light is Jesus.
One thing I want for you take away from this article is that no matter how dark life may get, there is always Light. There is always Jesus. You may not believe in Jesus or even ever heard His name spoken. You may have known Him and run away because your life became too messy and too hard, and you just wanted to take control for a while--I've been there. But one thing that I can tell you is that through my pain, through my struggle, through the ups and downs of life--He has been there. He has never left my side, and He has my been my strength and my never fading light. My refuge and my hope.
No matter where life finds today, you can come to Him. To can call upon His name. You can step out of the darkness that you've been running through and into the light. Into His love. Into His arms. You can be saved from the darkness.
