The alarm is blaring. I barely open my eyes to realize I have overslept by an hour and a half. I have 30 minutes to leave the house. In that 30 minutes, I have to shower, wash my face, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, and somehow pull together an outfit that I can wear to work.
This realization is happening as I am stumbling through an incredibly messy room trying to get my wits about me. Fast forward 30 minutes later. I'm in the car for my 45-minute commute to work. The heat on full blast blowing directly in my face in hopes of drying my sopping wet hair. At that moment you know.. It is going to be one of those days.
Sometimes I just feel like I am just half-heartedly stumbling through my life. Not really sure what my purpose is or what I am even doing with myself.
My first semester in college felt like this frazzled wet haired morning... Trying to figure out how to live on my own without the help of my parents, how to balance education, social life, go to work, and live with three strangers. I often found my myself wondering why I am I in this direct spot in my life at this exact moment. I wanted to throw my hands up and give up many times.
But today in the car, I began to reflect. I came to the conclusion I am in charge of how I am going to handle this day. I was in charge of how I reacted to all the fastballs life that was thrown at me during my first semester.
I am in control of how I choose to live this life and ride through the trials. I don't want to be stumbling through life just trying to wake up to the next alarm. I want to live full heartedly within each moment knowing that I am being the best I can be.
It all sounds great in theory but what happens when school gets stressful? Anxiety strikes? Relationships get hard? Then it began to dawn on me. Yes, I am in charge of how I react and live. But ultimately there is a God who created this whole earth that guides me and strengthens me. I don't have to feel like I'm stumbling through my life on my own. I can turn to Him and know that He is beside me every step of the way.
As I go into my second semester of college, I am ready to fully commit myself to God. I tried to do the first semester on my own and use every worldly 'fix' out there and I was left feeling empty. I know that when I fully put my trust in Him and choose to live wholeheartedly and fully, that things will begin to change.
One of my all time favorite bible verses is Psalm 23:3. It reads, "He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake." It is absolutely incredible to me to know that there is a God who knows everything about me. My faults and my insecurities and he still loves me with unconditional love and gives me a new beginning. As we go into this new year, I encourage you to join me on this journey and take the leap of faith and fully put your trust in Him.
