Stumbling Through Life

Stumbling Through Life

Do you ever feel like you are going through life but not actually living? Welcome to the club!


The alarm is blaring. I barely open my eyes to realize I have overslept by an hour and a half. I have 30 minutes to leave the house. In that 30 minutes, I have to shower, wash my face, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, and somehow pull together an outfit that I can wear to work.

This realization is happening as I am stumbling through an incredibly messy room trying to get my wits about me. Fast forward 30 minutes later. I'm in the car for my 45-minute commute to work. The heat on full blast blowing directly in my face in hopes of drying my sopping wet hair. At that moment you know.. It is going to be one of those days.

Sometimes I just feel like I am just half-heartedly stumbling through my life. Not really sure what my purpose is or what I am even doing with myself.

My first semester in college felt like this frazzled wet haired morning... Trying to figure out how to live on my own without the help of my parents, how to balance education, social life, go to work, and live with three strangers. I often found my myself wondering why I am I in this direct spot in my life at this exact moment. I wanted to throw my hands up and give up many times.

But today in the car, I began to reflect. I came to the conclusion I am in charge of how I am going to handle this day. I was in charge of how I reacted to all the fastballs life that was thrown at me during my first semester.

I am in control of how I choose to live this life and ride through the trials. I don't want to be stumbling through life just trying to wake up to the next alarm. I want to live full heartedly within each moment knowing that I am being the best I can be.

It all sounds great in theory but what happens when school gets stressful? Anxiety strikes? Relationships get hard? Then it began to dawn on me. Yes, I am in charge of how I react and live. But ultimately there is a God who created this whole earth that guides me and strengthens me. I don't have to feel like I'm stumbling through my life on my own. I can turn to Him and know that He is beside me every step of the way.

As I go into my second semester of college, I am ready to fully commit myself to God. I tried to do the first semester on my own and use every worldly 'fix' out there and I was left feeling empty. I know that when I fully put my trust in Him and choose to live wholeheartedly and fully, that things will begin to change.

One of my all time favorite bible verses is Psalm 23:3. It reads, "He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake." It is absolutely incredible to me to know that there is a God who knows everything about me. My faults and my insecurities and he still loves me with unconditional love and gives me a new beginning. As we go into this new year, I encourage you to join me on this journey and take the leap of faith and fully put your trust in Him.

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A Letter To High School Seniors On Graduation Day

The rest of your life begins today.

Dear High School Senior,

Today's the day you've been waiting for your whole life. You'll wake up a little earlier than usual, brush your teeth and go downstairs for your last breakfast as a high school student. Your mom will look at you with tears running down her cheeks wondering how her baby grew up so quickly. Your friends will be texting your group message non-stop with words of disbelief, wondering where the time went. You guys made it to the day you've been counting down to all year long.

You'll start to reminisce on things like your first pep rally and the dorky outfits you wore freshman year. You'll laugh at things your old teachers did and remember the ones who left to teach somewhere else. You'll wonder how the guys in your grade actually managed to grow up and laugh at how young you all looked when you had just begun. You'll remember all of the football games you attended and consider how strange it will be seeing other people wearing your guy friends' numbers when the Thanksgiving game rolls around. You'll drive by the soccer field and think of all the blood, sweat and tears you gave to it over your high school career.

You'll recall your first real kiss and joke about how upset you were when the first boy broke your heart. It'll feel like yesterday when you walk through those doors for the final time and look around at all of the empty lockers. You'll gather with your classmates together in the same place for the last time and think about how you're all going to be in different places next year. You'll be excited but nervous because in a few hours, life as you know it will change.

So before you sit down to hear the Valedictorian's speech and walk the stage to receive your diploma, make sure you take the time to appreciate the memories you made in those halls. Thank your teachers, even the difficult ones, because when you're sitting down in your first college class, you'll feel grateful for the work they made you do. Thank your parents for supporting you. It's not easy raising a teenager, but they did not give up on you regardless of how brutal puberty was.

Thank your friends. They're the ones that got you through your first heartbreak and made sure that you were going to be okay. They listened to your complaints after a big fight with your mom, even if they thought you were wrong. They forgave you when you were wrong and understood your bad days. They stood up for you when you got yourself in a bad situation. They brought you coffee when you didn't have time to get it yourself. They took you home when you couldn't make it there alone. They celebrated your good news and helped you through the bad. They made you laugh uncontrollably and created memories that you'll hold on to forever. They made you who you are today.

After you receive your diploma and throw your cap in the air, make the most of the time you have left with your high school friends before you all head off to college. You only have a few months before you're sitting in a dorm room surrounded by unfamiliar faces. Work, but don't forget that memories last longer than money. Go to the beach, take lots of pictures, go out on Friday nights and enjoy the days that summer has to give. Trust me, college will be awesome, but you'll never be the same person that you are today.


Your College Self

SEE ALSO: 11 Pieces Of Advice All High School Students Need To Hear

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College Can Be Difficult, But Trust Yourself, Girl

Life can throw you curveballs sometimes, and times can get tough, but it is SO important to pick yourself up and trust that you can do anything.


I'll be honest, this school year was one of the hardest years of my life. There were lots of moments throughout the year that I just wanted to go home and get away from it all. I had to be reminded that I have been raised to try as hard as you possibly can, and I was doing that. It took some determination and time, but I didn't give up.

No matter how bad I felt, I stayed and persevered.

Now that I am home for the summer, I have been reminiscing on the past two semesters of school. At the beginning of the school year, I had a much different idea of how it would go. It was going to be "my year," but somehow while the year was going on, I felt that I had been completely wrong. It's easy to come to quick conclusions when life doesn't exactly go your way. Conclusions like "this year has been the worst year ever" and "I can never get a break" were often popping up in my head. My grades weren't where I wanted them, and I was surprised by a lot of occurrences that I never expected to happen (imagine a wild ride). I found out who my true friends are and who I could rely on, and luckily, my circle only grew. Being extremely extroverted, it was hard for me to get out and just do something. Being in this "rut" took a toll on me. I had to make those hard decisions about doing what was best for me in the long run instead of doing something just for the moment. Trust me when I say, this was NOT easy at all.

Through all the tears and change all around me, I decided to proceed to the finish line because I am NOT a quitter.

I decided that it was time for me to allow myself to fully, undeniably be me. I wanted to start doing the little things I enjoy again like working out, taking pictures, and simply just going out to do anything. I started forcing myself to take any opportunity that came my way, and it helped. One of the things that brought me so much joy was kickboxing – talk about therapeutic, people! Kickboxing at least three times a week helped my mood shift so much, and it was a start to seeing me again. I am so blessed with friends who would come over at, literally, any time of the day. Spending time with them helped me more than they could ever know. We did anything from just hanging out in my living room to splurging on a fun dinner. Through everything that I was doing daily, I was learning how to rely on myself. Looking back now, I have never really had to know what it felt like to rely mainly on myself. I did get so much help from my family and friends, but what good could their help do if I didn't want to help myself first?

Even though I felt like this was one of the worst years of my life, it taught me so much more than I ever expected. Looking back now, I grew so, so much. I learned how to smile when times get tough. I learned that it really is okay to not be okay sometimes, and it will be okay eventually. I learned that it's okay to ask for help because we weren't made to do life alone. Most importantly, I learned how to trust myself. My hope for anyone reading this, you will learn from my experience that the worst seasons get better. I am in such a good place right now because I never gave up, and I will continue to never give up. In a short amount of time, I am seeing how far I have come and how much I grew.

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