Dear Future Employer, I'm Studying To Become A Professional Partier | The Odyssey Online
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Dear Future Employer, I'm Studying To Become A Professional Partier

Ranked #17 Party School, University of Florida prepared me well for a career in Partying.

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Dear Future Employer, I'm Studying To Become A Professional Partier
Plinston Hall

Dear Future Employer,

Education and passion are the two things I value the most. I respect my time at University of Florida, and always strive to study hard and aim high. I hope to continue learning with your company, developing both my personal interests and myself as your colleague. With passion, I look for companies that create a culture I see myself in. I choose smart and I choose well, putting forth all of my energy into organizations I love the most. That’s why when you look at my resume you only see a few clubs—because I put so much into the leadership roles I currently hold.

Because of my love of education and passion, I decided to obtain a Bachelors of Arts in Partying. I have already completed several core courses including Waking Up Face Down in A Bush With My Pants Gone, Calling My Ex-Girlfriend at 3 AM on a Monday, Sign Night Design, Milk Chugging Workout, and my favorite, Pharmacy for Morning Headaches. These courses have thoroughly challenged and prepared me to work for your company, teaching me lessons such as teamwork and distracted decision making.

I started college in Engineering. But after I had to spend more than 2 hours a week doing homework—something high school hadn’t prepared me for—I realized I had to change. Partying seemed like the best option for me. And when I saw that UF offered not only a Bachelor’s Degree, but a Masters as well, I knew I had made the right decision. I recently submitted my application for the Master’s Program—a fifth year of Partying—and I am waiting to hear back.

The best part about a degree in Partying is that I can take it anywhere in the world. I recently studied abroad in Vegas and was able to directly apply my skills, which include a forgettable memory, unstoppable energy 7 nights a week, an ability to wear minimal clothing in below-freezing temperatures, and an admirably strong liver. Additionally, Partying was a good way to break the ice with my coworkers at my past internships, allowing me to boost the morale as a member of the Human Resources departments. Because of my education and passion for this topic, I was able to motivate my team and thus, promote sales and profits of the company as a whole.

If you choose me to work for your company, I promise to make Success a priority. You know the saying: Work Hard, Play Hard. Through Partying, I’ve learned to combine both. Playing hard is working hard. It takes time, effort, money, and connections to put on a good party or skip all of the lines.

Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this message. I attached my resume at the bottom of the page for reference.

Sincerely,

University of Florida Party Student

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