There’s no doubt that our hook-up culture is definitely screwed up. Yeah, people still take part in relationships that turn out great, but for the most part, all you really hear is that So and So are “talking.” That could either mean that they’re acting as if they’re dating, or constantly hooking up, or both—but aren’t actually in a relationship. Though it’s pretty much considered the norm in our generation, it surprises me how many people are actually okay with this. As a junior in college, I’ve definitely had my fair share of “talking” to guys. In the moment, it’s great. You start catching feelings for the other person, they start catching feelings, too (or sure act like it), you hang out all the time, or if not just hook up all the time—it all feels good and special. It feels as if it’s actually going somewhere. Then weeks, maybe even months, pass by, and you can’t seem to get out of this “talking” phasing. After a while, the girl (typically) is the one who begins to get frustrated and wonders if “this” is going anywhere. However, nine out of 10 times it just starts to go downhill from there. He starts to distance himself from her (emotionally), but still expects the physical interactions to continue. I’m not sure if it’s because we’re in college and we’re “supposed to be single” or what, but this cycle tends to happen very often.
What disturbs me the most is how, we as girls, put up with it and still give them what they want, even if it’s not what we want. From an outsider’s perspective, we may look “stupid” or as if it’s “our fault,” and maybe a small part of it is our fault, but it’s hard to control how we feel after being led on for so long. But, as an insider, it’s completely different. When someone is constantly messing with your emotions, it’s hard to think rationally and not realize how it’ll affect you in the long run. Coming from someone who has put up with this for quite a while, I’ve only come to realize how toxic this is and how much I’m actually disrespecting myself. No matter how great I may feel in that moment with that person, that “great” feeling isn’t going to last and will soon turn into feeling like crap right after. Continuing to casually hook up with that person who doesn’t want anything more was only making me feel like sh*t, and I knew I needed to stop, no matter how hard it was or how much I didn’t want to.
Our generation is f**ked up in the sense that it makes us believe that continuing to hook up with that person is somehow going to make them care for us and/or make them stay, when in reality, all we’re doing is hurting ourselves. You’re worth more than a casual, meaningless hook up. Never settle for anything less, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
