Writers' Block — a usually temporary condition in which a writer finds it impossible to proceed with the writing of a novel, play or other work.

The "usually temporary" part is what is getting to me. I haven't written a single piece of poetry without a collaborator since the month of May, and even that was involuntary, seeing how it was an assignment.

"What is the best thing to do when you have writers' block? Write about it." I was given this advice by a friend. I suppose now I am taking it.

What is it like to have writers' block? We can start with the fact I am now the epitome of what I call a failure. I have a poetry blog, which used to be followed closely - that is until I slipped into my self-diagnosis of a block (so much so that I have not posted since the 31 of July). I have what I titled as an "unfinished" section in my notes, which is filled with various uncombined stanzas and random trains of thoughts that just don't seem to fit. I recently entered a manuscript contest in August, full of old, recycled pieces, and boldly enough, five "unfinished stanza" entries. We'll see how the judges like that.

Even as I'm writing this, I feel that nauseating feeling all of us get when stepping out of our comfort zone. I don't like this entry, I don't like my last two entries, and I don't like the fact I cannot accomplish a single thing. I receive the reminders and the "when is your article going to be submitted" messages, and I have multiple mental reactions to them.

I could go with a lie. "Well, you see, my internet crashed and I haven't been able to work on it."

I could give up. "I don't think writing for Odyssey is the best option for me anymore. I can't do it right now, but I hope you'll have me in the future."

Or, I could be brutally honest. "I wake up at 5:30 a.m., and am at school by 7:30. After leaving at 2:20, I either spend the remaining hours before my dual enrollment course at Shelton with my boyfriend or with my homework. On Tuesdays - Fridays, I clock into work at 4 p.m., arrive home at 10:30 p.m., and pass out. Don't even get me started on Saturday game-day work shifts. The entire week is a continuous wake-up and repeat. I am guaranteed two off days throughout the week- the day we are closed, and Monday, the night I have a class (6-8:45 p.m.). On my off days, I spend my time with either my anxiety, my friends or my homework. So, while I do love being a part of something, and having constant GroupMe notifications, I'm exhausted. I don't want to quit — or worst case scenario, be asked to leave. But I'm two days past the deadline. I'm ignoring the messages. I'm an absolute failure at this point with my passion, the one thing I have always been good at."

But this doesn't help any of us, does it? The world doesn't care if I am tired, or having a pity party (like right now). Giving a list of times and classes and my work schedule does not and will not pull myself together. I'm still nauseatingly uncomfortable while typing and hoping that maybe a rambling of complaints will do for my two-day late article.

I can offer an apology, an excuse (a lie), or a sob story, but that won't get me through the block. For now, I'll recycle old poetry, keep trying to make the "unfinished" section of my notes a bit shorter and learn how to breathe amid all of the stress.

So, this is what writers' block is all about. Missing deadlines. Excuses. Stress. Apologies. And failing.

But I will get back up.

Soon.