I think everyone goes through this phase at some point in their life, especially as we cross over into adulthood, a strange new world of impossible responsibilities and the dangerous freedom of finally doing whatever the hell we want. With that, sometimes it's hard to settle down when we just started to enjoy the benefits of being on our own.

Then again, some people just struggle with commitment. It's scary. It's life-altering and selfless and hard to share a life with someone else. Giving up freedom is hard, and so is changing your future to mesh with someone else's. Whatever the case, here are a few struggles that all commitment clowns are guilty of-

1. You are constantly asking yourself "what if?"

Ugh, the painful arguments and scenarios your poor head have to endure, over situations that probably aren't even presenting themselves. "What if it doesn't stay this way? What if what annoys me now makes us break up later? What if my feelings change, or their feelings change? What if I make all these sacrifices for nothing?" It's pretty constant when the mind is left to wander, and it often times can ruin a relationship before it's even started.

2. You carry guilt around like a backpack on your shoulders.

It's hard not to, isn't it? You feel guilty that they fell for someone like you, someone who isn't sure of what they want, but someone who also isn't sure if they want the space to figure out what they want. You feel guilty that you aren't advancing romantically like everyone else you know. You feel guilty for not warning them, for not making them see the issues you have more clearly. You feel sorry for the pain you are almost certain you will put them through, even though you are constantly telling yourself to run.

3. You are always telling lies.

You lie when you say you're okay, instead of admitting you're afraid of ruining the relationship. You lie when you say you just can't sleep when really you're lying wide awake arguing with yourself over staying or leaving. You lie when you fake the confidence in yourself and in your relationship when really you are just trying to get a handle on your emotions.

4. You are always worried.

You worry something is wrong with you and that you'll be alone forever. You worry you will break their heart. You worry they will finally discover you are constantly going back and forth between wanting security and wanting freedom. You worry you're not good enough, that the life you could have is being taken from you. You worry about being hurt again, and you worry about all the time and suffering it will take for that hurt to finally disappear. You worry that you're going the ruin your partner's life, waste their time, make them hate you and you are terrified of hurting them.

5. You obsess over the future.

Are you throwing your future away? Would you be happier alone? What if this is your last chance alone before the universe deems you unworthy of another's love and commitment? What if you ruin it? Where will you go from there? What if this is the wrong choice?

6. You are way too hard on yourself.

Stop telling yourself they deserve better. Stop hating yourself for being guarded, for wondering if life could be greater somewhere else. Quit talking down to yourself when you get scared to commit and stop bullying yourself into walking away from someone who could show you a love that could change your outlook on life and relationships.

Everyone deserves love, and who decides to love you is not your choice. It's theirs. And you can either decide to give it a full-effort shot, or you can decide to hold onto other freedoms or fears. Eventually, you will figure it out, but being hard on yourself now will only make the process harder and longer. Love yourself so the right person can love you when you're ready for them to.