Not having a car leaves me with two options. The first one is walk. Walking means exercise, taking forever to get places and having to deal with unpleasant weather for longer than anyone would like. My second option is to ask for a ride, but there’s a problem with that too: I don’t want to. Not having a car is bearable sometimes, but when you need groceries, want to hang out with friends or even go home, it turns into the worst thing ever.
I’ve accepted the fact I don’t have my own car, and likely won’t for a while due to this little thing called 'expensive.' Chances are, I won’t have a car until after I finish college, just because I’m completely on my own for getting a car. I will be responsible for paying for it, the insurance, the gas and every little thing that happens from the time I get it until I die. As a poor young adult, I really can’t afford to be doing any of that. “Well just save up!” Saving is great, but even saving something like $20 every week, it still takes a long time to save enough to even buy something cheap and used. Did I mention that cars are expensive?
So, I’m stuck back at the beginning of walk or ask for rides? The problem with asking for rides, especially for me, is that I feel like a burden. I’d rather spend a few nights in, alone, every week than have to ask for a ride to my friend’s apartment every afternoon after work. Whenever I need something or just want to go somewhere, I have to ask people to take time out of their own life so I can do something. It makes me feel super needy knowing I can’t just do something on my own and always have to have someone help me. I’ve had to share a car at home and drive my siblings to places before they could drive, and it just gets tiring -- always having to make these short, pointless trips. I hate thinking that’s how it is for everyone who drives me places.
I hate that I don’t feel independent. I want to go places, do things and see people on my own time, but I can’t. Sometimes, you just want to take a nice solo trip to Target, you know? It’s nice having 'me' days, just driving or checking out places around town. But it’s harder when you don’t actually have a car. I can’t just go do something without someone having to take me. It goes back to having others fit my life into theirs.
It’s such a struggle not having my own vehicle. I had to keep in mind the walk time to certain places when I started looking for an apartment, and most of the jobs I’ve applied to in the past aren’t very far from my apartment. My job choices went down drastically just because I had to keep in mind how long it would take to walk. I don’t want to be the friend who is always dependent on others for getting everywhere, but one day I won’t be. It might take a long time, but someday I’ll have a car and I’ll feel so insanely free. Until that day comes, can I get a ride?
