Being born into and raised in a Christian family was a privilege, and one for which I am thankful. However, I have not always held this gratitude for my upbringing. Quite the opposite, I’ve spent a great deal of time over the years playing with the thought of what it would be like to have grown up with no relationship with God. Instead, I wanted to be able to share an amazing conversion experience, complete with a story of God’s revelation to m-e, ME. I longed for a story to tell people, of living in darkness and then seeing the light of the Son. That’s the testimony people like to hear, right? Instead, I grew up always knowing God existed, memorizing verses for prizes in Sunday school and knowing all about God's power:
He healed the sick and the diseased? Of course, He’s God. He created the earth in less than a week? Yeah, He’s God.
I can’t say that I remember a moment where I was in complete awe. God was God and He did what He did best, be God; nothing to it.
The difference between knowing about God and comprehending His power could not be more apparent. So wrapped up in wanting MY testimony, MY faith to blow people away, it’s clear I lost sight of God and His purpose. What was remarkable and extraordinary was reduced to ordinary in my perception of things. Indeed – to use that oh so frightening word among Christians – “complacency” took over. God’s works did not seem special because He was so generous with them and that fire I felt after first committing my life to Christ was sputtering.
Thankfully, God is gracious.
What I’ve come to slowly understand is that, in the end, a lot of what it comes down to is passion. A word that seems to be misunderstood because we don’t always use it the way we ought to. I was visiting a college group recently and the speaker helped place “passion” into a different perspective for me. Passion is so often confused with, and tied up as, an emotion, when it really should be an action.
So, passion, as action.
It’s hard when you no longer feel goosebumps during songs of worship. What happened to that spiritual high you’d get when your preacher would be spittin’ fire from the podium? It’s easy to get tripped up on the idea of “I don’t and can’t seem to feel anything anymore, so I better conjure up something,” or worse, “why try anymore?” The Bible puts it plainly:
“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:11-12
There’s nothing that even mentions a scenario where, if you don’t feel moved, it’s okay to lack in your zeal. Pursuing God without passion isn’t an option. God wants us all in. By treating my blessing of a Christian upbringing as a difficulty in my faith - because of the dangers of complacency and comfort - rather than a bonus, I placed God in a box. Logically understanding Him to be all-knowing and all-powerful, but filing Him away in my “understanding of God” section of my brain. When you reach a point where you feel as if you understand God's actions, you lose sight of how amazing God really is.
A solid relationship with the Lord comes from passionate action, not a feeling. There will be days when you may feel nothing or become so accustomed to God’s miraculous story that it takes real concentration to sit down and focus on your Bible or prayer. That’s okay. After all, we’re the humans in this situation! We aren't required to feel something in order to be saved. It takes more faith and dedication to pursue God when you don't get all the goosebumps. All God asks is that we passionately seek after Him, daily. By doing this, you'll end up feeling an overwhelming love and joy that bubbles over onto everyone and everything you come in contact with!
