Growing up my parents always reminded me that it didn't matter who I loved. Black, white, tall, short, fat, skinny, male, female, as long as the person I chose to love loved me in return and treated me right. Unfortunately, not everyone was raised this way. It is 2016 and interracial couples are still looked down upon in our society. Here's to the things I wish did not come with interracial relationships, but I have learned to find peace with, regardless.
1. The stares.
When I ask for a table for two, please don't stare at me with a look of concern because my boyfriend is black, and I am not. He's awesome and yes, we're about to have dinner together. Isn't that what couples do? I mean, I would love to assume you are staring at us because we are such a good-looking couple but we all know the truth here.
2. The inappropriate questions.
"Is his family accepting of you?" "Do you only date ___ men?" "Is it true what they say: [insert inappropriate stereotype]?" But my very favorite is: "Were your parents shocked when you told them?" Yes, in fact, my parents were shocked. They were shocked because they had never seen me so happy before.
3. The derogatory names.
Mudshark, snowbunny, jungle fever, Becky, Snicker licker, coal burner, bro-ho, chocolate dipper. Just stop, please.
4. The "it's just a phase."
Choosing to love a man who respects and loves me is not just a phase. Finding him attractive, even though he is black, is not just a phase.
5. The (not funny) jokes.
"I guess you like dark chocolate, huh?" "Once you go black..." None of these are original. I may laugh along but at the end of the day, the jokes are not funny.
6. The "what's wrong with your own race" comments.
Nothing. There is nothing wrong with men of my race. I just so happen to be in love with someone of a different race. Do not attack me because of who I love. Do not put me down because I chose to love a man outside of my race.
7. The words of motivation.
"You guys are going to change the world." Really? Being in an interracial relationship is not a stride towards ending oppression against a minority group. We aren't changing the world or ending racism by being together. But thank you, I think.
8. The whispers.
As we walk past you in the mall, and you turn your head to stare at us, we can hear your side comments of disapproval. I am truly sorry if a couple in love makes you feel uncomfortable, but I would like to go about my day without having to hear your opinion of us.
9. The overall lack of acceptance.
It is very frustrating to be in an interracial relationship in today's society. While people idolize couples like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, and Ellen Pompeo and Chris Ivery, they make a mockery of interracial couples that they see in everyday settings. It is 2016 and people still believe that it is wrong for someone to date outside of their race. I just don't understand it.
Although interracial relationships come with some challenges, it comes with so many new experiences and knowledge to gain as well. I'm so lucky to have been raised to believe that the color of someone's skin does not dictate whether or not they are worthy of being loved. I couldn't be happier with my relationship, interracial or not, and I know that is what matters the most.
