Studying abroad—a time to experience new cuisines, ideologies and cultures. It is a chance to be selfless and focus on what is happening in the world beyond your own borders. Oh, and in terms of food, if you think the freshman 15 is sneaky, wait until you are able to travel to 10 countries in Europe, bask in the meals in Ghana, or taste new dishes on an island.
Going abroad is one of the most eye-opening experiences college campuses offer and I personally feel as though I learned more about myself in relation to this world and how I can be a better person for myself and others. I have a new sense of independence, compassion and openness that was not as strong before leaving the states.
Going abroad was the best experience I have had so far in my last 20 years of breathing, however, I was not warned about the aftermath: Adjustment. Coming back to my family was rejuvenating because I didn’t have to stay up late or wake up to the crack of dawn to be able to have a conversation with them.
I no longer had to come up with excuses to tell my baby brother why I was so far away from him and my mom did not have to worry about me getting lost in Barcelona without reception anymore. However, there was this level of disconnect I had with my family I never had before.
My family is pretty chill in the sense of what they enjoy doing. We throw down with our cookouts, get-togethers and picnics. Hiking, traveling, going to the beach…anything super physical is not our thing, which I was perfectly fine with; it’s the way we like to connect with each other.
However, after going abroad, I found myself getting anxious after being inside of the house for a long period of time; I had this constant apprehension of feeling like I had to be on the go and felt wasteful of time if I was in my room. I no longer felt content going to the cities I normally hung out in.
Long walks in Berkeley used to be enough for me, but I got so bored during my break after my fall semester. Everything made me feel bored; I needed to explore cities and places I hadn't explored in the Bay.
Coming back to school was even worse. The first week of screams and hugs felt more like a distraction from my recovery. I told myself not to think about all of the countries I traveled to and the attachment I developed for my temporary home.
Instead, I wanted to focus on being with the people I missed for the last four months. I also joined a sorority, so the process helped serve as another deviation away from adjusting. However, after process ended and after coming to terms with the fact that so many people changed over the course of a semester, being home finally hit me.
I was no longer in Europe traveling every weekend, trying new food, ordering a beer for lunch and dinner and making connections with people from all over the world. I was no longer surrounded by the amazing individuals who learned to divert their attention away from their phones to have meaningful conversations with one another.
The cafes that occupied every corner in Austria were replaced with clothing stores, fast food restaurants and other random places in the Bay Area. That is not to say I do not appreciate my home, but I felt as though I got a new perspective of closeness and companionship abroad.
After coming from abroad, where I had limited use of my phone, I felt as though I was missing this level of space with people. It was almost as though I forgot how to interact with people and I was constantly in this mood of discomfort.
Trust me, I am better now and am finally getting the hang of things (after a whole semester of being back). My interactions no longer seem forced and I am slowly getting myself to stop wishing I could be back in Europe. Personally, I will forever want to travel back to the place where I had my first experience outside of the states, but I am learning to love where I am again.
That love and pride diminished for me after living in Europe and I am trying to gain every ounce of it back. I do not think it’ll be possible to love my home as much as I did before because now I do not want to feel attached to a region anymore; I want to explore continuously. However, I becoming appreciative of my place in this world again and am finally starting to feel like I am home.
