20 Times You'll Need Xanax After Just Reading The Syllabus

Maybe sylly week just happened, maybe it is your sylly week, or maybe sylly week is just around the corner. Whenever yours may be, we all know that this week is supposed to be one of the most relaxed weeks during our college experience. However, there are always *those* classes whose syllabuses alone make us incredibly stressed. Here are 20 cases where the syllabus alone can send us into a state of complete and utter panic:

*DISCLAIMER: The title of this article is in no way meant to undermine or make fun of anxiety disorders. It is actually based on a banner at my school that stated that a rival school needs Xanax after reading the syllabus. This article is entirely humorous, and I understand that anxiety is a very real disorder.

1. When you're not sure if the professor is giving you the syllabus or his dissertation from his doctoral program.

If you think any of us will be motivated to read 20 pages about a single class, think again. Best of all is when we ask a question and we get the "it's on the syllabus" response.

2. When your grade is pretty much based on 1-2 exams...

In this case, yes, an exam does define us.

3. ...or when your grade is made up of a laundry list of exams.

Might as well start studying now, right?

4. When "pop quizzes" or "unannounced quizzes" appears anywhere.

Those words are enough to give just about all of us heart attacks...every time we come to class. Lucky for me, I have 3 classes that give pop quizzes this semester.

5. When the list of required textbooks looks like the bibliography of someone's research paper.

We're all a bunch of broke college students. Please don't do this to us.

6. When the grading scale has RIDICULOUSLY high thresholds...


I've had a bunch of classes where a 95 or a 96 is the threshold for an A and instances where a 90 was a B+.

7. ...or when it specifies under the grading scale that grades are not rounded up.

So close...yet so far.

8. When the words "Final Group Project" appear anywhere.

Isn't it great when our fate in the class is placed in someone else's hands?

9. When all of the office hours conflict with other classes.

If you're like me and swear by office hours, it's going to be fun to try to get help when the material becomes difficult.

10. When there is a schedule of readings...with TONS of readings due every single class.

We all know that college DOES entail a lot of reading but 100 pages due each class? Now that's excessive.

11. When attendance makes up any part of the grade breakdown.

Especially when it's an 8 A.M. That's when you know it's going to be a loooooong semester.

12. When it specifically states that laptops are not allowed in class.

Since the easiest way of taking notes is not an option, we now need to let our hands cramp for the sake of a decent grade.

13. When there is no late policy (a.k.a. late work is not accepted).

Listen, we're college students, we're not perfect. Our imperfections don't necessarily "excuse" late work, but a 0 on a late assignment shouldn't tank our whole grade.

14. When the word "cumulative" appears anywhere.

Our brains only have so much storage for this class, my goodness!

15. When you barely understand the course description...

How can we expect to understand the class when we can't even understand what we're getting into?

16. ...or when the course description is an essay in and of itself.

It almost becomes an assignment just to figure out what this class is all about.

17. When an assessment is scheduled for the second day of class.

Guess we're not exactly getting eased into the class and the expectations...

18. When multiple assignments start with the word "final."

And once you read that, you think this might be your final day enrolled in the class.

19. When final project ideas are due within the first few days of class.

I guess these professors want us thinking ahead...way ahead.

20. When it specifies anywhere that the class will be difficult.

Hey! Thanks for the heads up!

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