Thirty years ago last Wednesday, approximately half a million people marched on Washington, DC to force President Ronald Reagan to address the AIDS epidemic. The next year, on the same date, marked the creation of the national holiday, National Coming Out Day. For the past 29 years, members of the LGBTQ community have used October 11 to celebrate the act of “coming out,” or openly identifying as LGBTQ.

This holiday continues to inspire members of the LGBTQ to feel comfortable in their own skin, whether they are “out” or not.

More than any other time in history, the LGBTQ community is at the forefront of many conversations and controversies. The community itself is “out of the closet” — in that it's no secret that the LGBTQ community co-exists with society.

Tolerance is on the rise, with more and more people accepting the community. Yet society still has a long way to go in terms of acceptance of the community.

The fact that there needs to be such a day as National Coming Out Day proves as such. Just as children are socialized to believe in social norms and constructs like gender, most people are raised to assume that everyone around them is heterosexual.

Like gender, terms like “gay”, “lesbian”, and “transgender” are social constructs created to label and divide people. Because sexuality is not a visible characteristic, like skin color, people are “straight until proven otherwise.”

The LGBTQ community is expected to “come out,” while heterosexual individuals are able to be considered the social norm.

Not only are LGBTQ members expected to “come out” — they are also faced with the possibility of intense, and even violent, backlash. Even if someone is comfortable with themselves and their sexuality, there is no way to know how others will react.

When I sat down to write this article, I had the intention of using this platform and holiday as a way to come out as bisexual to my family.

Before Wednesday, I considered myself to be happily and proudly “out.” Yet when faced with the reality that my family was going to read this article, I realized how virtually my entire family is unaware that I identify as bisexual.

I planned on using my own story as encouragement to other LGBTQ students — until I realized I wasn’t ready to “officially come out” myself.

Like many other LGBTQ people, I struggle with talking about my sexuality with my conservative, religious family members. Even my own mother, who is one of the few family members who know I am bisexual, was against me telling the whole family.

Her reluctance ultimately stems from ignorance — ignorance of the situation, and of how my family will react.

The conversation I had with her actually contained several textbook examples of reactions to someone coming out.

“But you like guys? Don’t you have a boyfriend? How do you know you like girls that way if you have never been with one? It’s pretty dramatic to come out if you aren’t 100% sure. You don’t need to label yourself to feel how you feel.”

These comments are some of many responses members of the LGBTQ are faced with when they even think about coming out.

My mother is not the only one confused by the topic — her ignorance is shared by the majority of non-LGBTQ individuals. Education regarding the LGBTQ community is practically non-existent, leaving many people confused and more prone to defensive stance. As humans, we are taught to fear the unknown.

Even my liberal mother, who believes in equality for everyone, is confused by the topic, even when it comes from her own daughter.

That is ultimately why National Coming Out Day exists: to start the conversation, whether that conversation is about coming out or educating society on the LGBTQ community.

Maybe next October 11th I will feel more comfortable coming out to my family — maybe it’ll happen this year at Thanksgiving. Either way, I am proud of my sexual identity. I applaud everyone who was able to comfortably come out today, and I applaud those who weren’t.

You are valid whether you are out or not.