Have you ever had that one person that can bring a smile to your face no matter how low you were that day? Someone who could give you "that look" and you just melt? The one that makes you explode with happiness just by hearing their voice or having them touch you; that's the person you believe is your forever, that no one could take away from you. The one you befriended first and slowly fell head over heels for...
You spend every moment possible with that person, you talk on the phone constantly instead of texting just to hear their voice one more time before bed. When you look in their eyes you see the person you could look at for the rest of your life, you want all of that person even the many imperfections. This is the person you sat with so many nights and cried to when it seemed like everything was crashing down around you. The person you could call at one in the morning and still get an answer, you would stay on the phone till the other fell asleep while talking. It was moments like those that you realized you could get use to dealing with them everyday. You would have petty arguments about not hanging out one day, or what you wanted to eat, and how you needed to get home but they just couldn't let you go. No those arguments would not mean anything, if anything they'd make you both laugh. You eventually realize that that person was the one you needed in your life, the one that could heal every heartache that ever cursed your heart.
One day, the sun seemed to shine a little bit brighter, the grass was a little bit greener, and you seemed a little bit happier waking up. Why you may ask? The reason is simple you fell in love with the person of your dreams. You thought nothing could ruin your day now because you have finally found the one. Sadly, you were not prepared for what was coming...
The one you loved seeing all of a sudden didn't come around as often, took hours just to reply, and started changing for the worse right in front of your eyes. You tried your hardest to help them out of the dark times they were facing, you put your life on hold just to be able to hold them through it. You think everything is fine because they started calling and texting you nonstop again, you never realized what was actually taking place.
One day after talking all night long about anything and everything, it all would come to a screeching halt... That night after you fell asleep from talking to the one you loved, you would never hear a word from them again. No call, no text, no visit. You try and try and try to get a hold of them thinking something must be wrong, in reality they had moved on without you even noticing. They abandoned you without even a warning shot. They cut you off like you were nothing to them. You sat and cried for days on end, your heart broken into a million pieces... Your friends began to worry as you started to push yourself away from everything. You try to talk to them about what you are feeling but in the end you just feel like you're bothering them with your problems, you know it's not like that but it's how you feel. You begin to try and build yourself back up, except this time your dragging with you trust issues and bars around your heart.
That person you once loved had hurt you more than anyone else could. It feels like you were shot in the chest and then thrown out to the wolves. You're numb. You don't feel anything anymore.
You slowly think your getting better but as soon as another tries to be your new person you throw up your walls and end up hurting yourself even more... They say you have a terrible attitude and are hard to deal with, but honestly they don't realize how hard it was for you to even let them anywhere near your heart. They don't know what you have been through, how terrible and awful the weeks leading up to them finding you really were.
A person you loved and cared for that much all of a sudden got up and left without a word, that's enough to drive anyone to shut themselves down. Because of this person you gave your heart to, you now worry about what people's intentions are when they step into your life. You don't mean to but you do slowly push them away the same way you did the rest. All because you don't wanna go back to that dark place again when you felt as if the world was dragging you into hell head first...
After a tragic event like this, it's hard to open up to anyone; the one thing that you should do is explain to the next person that wants to try and get your heart why your so broken. If they do not understand then they are not worthy of you anyway, you deserve someone that is going to drop everything the way you did and love you for you, broken heart and all. It may take years to find someone patient enough to pick you up and lead you through the process of healing but until someone can help you just remember keep your head high and don't let that sad soul get in the way of all the great moments your going to have along the way....
