As crazy as it seems, the year is almost over. With a handful of weeks left in the semester, I've done some reflecting on what I've learned these last few semesters and how things didn't turn out exactly how I thought they would.
One of the most important things I have learned this year is to be true to myself. For so long, I spent so much of my time trying to be someone that I am not. I tried to convince myself that I was the typical college girl that went to parties and got drunk all the time. I didn't have many friends and spent a lot of time alone. College was supposed to be the best time of your life, yet I was becoming more depressed by the day.
I decided to look into Greek life on campus but for all the wrong reasons. But I ended up falling in love with it. After receiving a late bid, I discovered that sororities were completely different than I had imagined. But even with a new band of sisters to hang out with, I was still trying to fit into a label that wasn't the real me. I tried to hang out with the super popular girls that wore too much makeup and drank every weekend. I still was feeling alone and isolated when I hung out with them because although I was finally doing what typical college kids did, it wasn't who I was. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that this was where I belonged, something just felt off.
Things continued to evolve at this pace, and I picked a Big who I thought would teach me how to become a pretty girl who loved to party and do college things. But picking a Big based on these outwardly characteristics turned out to not work out in my favor. I am not that type of person and it took me over a year to finally admit it to myself.
I started focusing on school and got better grades than I ever had before. I spent a lot of time working hard to get A's in all of my classes. I learned that I am actually really good at school. I found a group of friends that I had a few classes with and started hanging out with them. I stopped trying to convince myself that because I didn't do all of the typical college things that I was an outcast. I began to realize that I was a nerd, and I was proud. I had finally found the place where I fit in.
Things began to look up for me in my sorority too. I got a perfect Little and found in her a wonderful friend. I found another sister who is so much like me I couldn't help but wonder why I had not considered her more for my Big. It all worked out in the end, as she became my adopted Big and has been everything I have ever needed and wanted in a Big. If there is something bothering me, even if I am being a psycho, she is the first person I go to.
Ever since I decided to stop trying to hold myself to the standard of what I considered to be a typical college student, things have only gotten better for me. I can tell you that you don't have to live up to those expectations that you have. You can be anything you want and that can be defined as a typical college student for you. College isn't like the movies, and you don't have to try and uphold yourself to the standards that you think are there just to feel like you fit in. It is much easier to just be yourself. People who are like you will find their way to you eventually and you will create your own "normal."
