I had stopped listening to a lot of music once I got a boyfriend. It was a bit tragic because I used to spend a lot of time listening to my painstakingly curated playlists and fantasizing about different scenarios, mouthing the words, dancing, crying, or just feeling the song. When I was single, I needed music for everything. I spent more time before a chore or task picking the song than I did actually working. A song for doing the dishes, a song for vacuuming. No, this is a homework song… Or should I play it in the shower?

I went through multiple pairs of cheap dollar store headphones every few months. I tried out every kind of earbud that the Family Dollar down the street sold; every color. Constantly plugged in my ears, the buds were responsible for inciting household members and teachers alike to yell at me, but I still loved them, and still crept silently in the night hunting for where I left them last- which could be anywhere. Jammed between couch cushions, hidden beneath piles of laundry, on the kitchen counters or tangled in my cross body purse.

Maybe it's a teenage thing. Maybe it's because before my boyfriend, who doesn't listen to much music besides Future Hendrix, I spent a lot of time alone and music was my main companion. Music was a catalyst for me to take any action, and headphones were my tool to access that inspiration. That had been replaced by using my phone to text and FaceTime my boyfriend. But regardless of my new taken status, I don't want to lose my relationship with music.

Last night I put on one of my old favorite playlists, simply titled with the orange fruit emoji, and it was just like old times for me. I still knew all the lyrics and still had as much fun as I used to, before all the changes of the past couple months. Long before milestones like getting my wisdom teeth out and graduating. I hope there's never another time in my life where I'm too busy for my main enjoyment, and I hope it's not something I'll grow out of. There's still a song for every occasion.