I have only had two official relationships in my life, one was considered puppy love and the other a "revolving door" type relationship. The "revolving door" relationship is the one that messed with my emotions a lot. I felt I would never truly be happy unless I was with this guy, or any guy for that matter. I hated the thought of being single, but for some reason I couldn't commit and I think it was because I was still waiting for my "revolving door" to come back around.
I soon began to realize that I would be happy with a guy for only a short amount of time before things started turning into a rut. We would run out of things to talk about and start repeating the same conversations until we just stopped talking and then a new person would come along. I regret it, but I even made a Tinder account only to never meet up with any of my matches because I feared that they could be some insane axe murderer or something.
It wasn't until I saw my ex a couple weeks after our breakup did I finally realize how happy I am without a guy in my life. Do I miss him? Every day, but the amount of freedom I have now is like a weight off my shoulders. I'm no longer walking on eggshells wondering when he's going to lose interest and leave again or worry about if I'm annoying him by asking how his day was.
He told me once after one of our breakups that I don't need a guy in my life to be happy. At first I thought it was stupid because I was happy with him and how dare he tell me what I need and don't need in my life to be happy, but now...I know that he's right. Instead, I have surrounded myself with friends and family that build me up and encourage me to pursue my dreams and find what makes me happy.
Finding your happiness in someone else is dangerous to your health emotionally. You are basically giving your significant other the power to make or break you. You are in the palm of their hand and you're allowing them to mold you into someone that will make them happy and because you love them, or you think you do, you oblige because their happiness is your own. In the end, you lose yourself and they decide that you're not the one they want to be with anymore, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your old life and try to pick up where you left off before they entered your life.
Moral of the story kids, you can't find your happiness in someone else. Being single sucks, but it also gives you the freedom to do the things you love most or find out what you want to do in life. The right guy will come along sooner or later, but instead of constantly pulling your fishing pole out of the water and recasting it because nothing is biting in that spot, put a bobber on it and leave it in the water. Go have a picnic while you're waiting. Focus on yourself and on your happiness. He will bite eventually if you give it time. You never know, he could be right in front of you and you can't see it yet.
