Growing up I have been told by a lot of people that I should be more confident in myself, that I should never hesitate to speak my mind, that I should “man up” and stand up for myself. “Thank you very much” is what I say to those people, although my inner self is trying so hard not to scream in their ignorant face: “you don’t know sh*t about my life! Stop telling me what to do!” A lot of people might know this, but I am the type of person who is so ridiculously timid about anything and everything that even going to the store by myself can be a big hassle.

This is partly because I suffer from a speech impairment known as stuttering that essentially interferes with my speech flow. This condition has been nothing but a frustrating and annoying hurdle in my life, and I have tried absolutely everything to stop or at least minimize my stuttering. People who are non-stutterers don’t understand the level of embarrassment this condition can cause. Imagine going through a job interview and you just can’t utter “opportunity” because it’s too long and the “p” sound always messes you up.

You try to resort to unnatural gestures by twitching your face, waving your hands, and making totally random sounds in a desperate attempt to “hide” your stammer. And guess what happens next? You get rejected. Imagine having a fight with someone who blamed you for something you did not do, but, in the heat of the quarrel, you lose control and let out a series of isolated and intermittent sounds that no one, not even a speech therapist, could decipher.

The consequence? You get frustrated and feel sorry for yourself. Imagine sitting in class, attentively listening to your professor lecturing about gender role in society, when you are suddenly asked to give your opinion on men rompers.

You go ahead and express your approval of the trend, but while trying to give a thorough answer, you stutter so hard that even your best friend who sits next to you have to discreetly move away from you so she doesn’t get embarrassed for being friends with such a weirdo. So what do you do? You go home, swear to never say anything in class ever again, and cry to sleep.

So please, don’t patronize me with your condescending attitude. I know who I am, what I can and can’t do, and what I need to work on to become a better version of myself. Just because you are normal doesn’t mean others can be like you too.