As an Asian-American young woman, I have faced many stereotypes since I was a child. I’ve been asked a series of questions, like if I could help my classmates and friends with math or science homework and what language do I speak at home: Mandarin or Cantonese? As I got older, I was asked by potential dates and boyfriends sexually explicit questions like if I was “tight” and that I would be their first Asian girl to have sex with.

Everyone was always shocked to learn the answers to their stereotypical and racist questions. I would tell them I’m actually better at foreign languages and that English is my first and only language. I was never good at math or science during high school and found that I enjoy the humanities and arts much more.

I’d get ridiculous reactions from my responses. “What do you mean you’re not ‘good’ at chemistry? Aren’t you Asian?” or “you don’t speak either language at home?” I’d follow up and tell people that I was adopted by white parents.

A few weeks ago I wrote about my parents being accused of “white-washing” me as I grew up and with the ways that they raised me. I’ll defend them for forever and ever in this argument because I’m confident in saying that they did not take my culture or who I am away from me. I am comfortable in the skin I’m in now, as a Chinese-born girl with an Italian and Polish-American background.

But now, there’s another issue that Asian women—not just adopted ones—face. It is not just being stereotyped by our intelligence and our career paths, but it is also our looks.

From the age and time I started dating, I was stereotyped. Some might even say that my biological background and the looks it gave me are fetishized.

I was stereotyped in a numerous amount of ways by boys who were of a different race than I was. I was asked if I would speak “Chinese”—not Mandarin or Cantonese—if I were to have sex and hook up with guys I talked to. As mentioned at the beginning, I was asked about how “tight” I was and if I would enjoyable during sex. Comments about my body were made like “you have a bigger chest for an Asian”—just in a more explicit, ruder way. I was told I was pretty because I looked “exotic.” And I know it’s not something that just has happened with me—I’ve asked other Asian women, and have seen multiple articles about the critiques they get from men of other color.

Another stereotype that we face is when we date people outside of our race. I’ve seen it countless of times. Articles about women tired of being asked questions about their interracial relationships and how it should be treated like any other same-race relationship. And if we’re not being asked about specific details of our interracial relationship, we’re asked if our partners are only with us because of our race—something that I have been asked as a woman who has only been in (and currently in) relationships with men outside of my race and ethnicity.

It is something we may see every day, both in real life and in the media. Asian women are made out to be some special, exotic beauty. This irks me for a few reasons. One being because we’re not recognized or appreciated for who we really are. We’re made out to be special because of our genetic background and makeup, not because we excel at school, sports, or other special talents we may have.

So please, stop stereotyping and generalizing us and just get to know and appreciate us for who we are.