There has been a movement in the United States for the last couple of years that promotes thick, curvy or overweight girls, in an effort to equalize the playing field of beauty and modeling.
While there is nothing wrong with the idea of a diverse pool of models for clothing and product advertisements, there is a wrong motive or theme behind this movement.
On Iskra Lawrence or Ashley Grahams Instagram, you’ll see the message “Every Body is Beautiful.” While this is a great positive message, it’s often captioned under pictures of them half-dressed and posed seductively. With almost naked pictures or incredibly revealing outfits, these girls encourage other thick or curvy girls to embrace their curves too, because curves are beautiful. Their thinking seems to go like this: I can feel sexy and confident in underwear, therefore, thick bodies are beautiful.
Yes, these girls are beautiful but they often use the term beautiful interchangeably with sexy.
There is a huge distinction.
Beautiful is aesthetically pleasing, meaningful and endearing.
Sexy creates sexual desire.
Beautiful is love.
Sexy is lust.
I would so much rather be called beautiful by my best friend than sexy by a stranger.
And there’s the dilemma, with curvy girls under the category of sexy, there is still a problem of objectification. Curvy girls are still being used as sex icons or objects of lust. And there is still a certain kind of body type that is now deemed as the most beautiful. It used to be that super skinny girls were the object of desire, and now that title has gone to thick girls.
And here is where this goes from theory to hitting home.
I really wish people would stop saying, “Your husband is going to love your curves,” to curvy girls. When that is said, it tells the girl that her body was created for her husband and that as long as someone else is going to enjoy it, she should rest assured.
That phrase says that girls are merely meant to be sex objects. When was the last time someone said, “Your husband is going to love how smart you are" or “Your husband is going to love how you love to read”?
At this point in my life, I could not care less if my husband is going to love my curves, I want to love my curves. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin even when it is covered in clothing, unlike the girls on Instagram.
I don’t want to have to take my clothes off to feel confident. I don’t want to put my confidence in someone else’s hands.
This is the point: I don’t want to be sexy, I want to be beautiful.
I want to be able to look in the mirror in the morning and think, “Wow, I am so proud of who I am.” I want to have this mentality that is founded in self-acceptance. When sexiness is the foundation of our body image, we get wrapped up in what other people think about us. “Do I look sexy?” is a question that involves two parties, while “Do I look beautiful?” could be a private thought between the body and the mind.
Sexiness and lust is nothing compared to beauty and love. Until we get to the point as a society where anybody can be seen as valuable not because of their physical appearance but because of what is on the inside, we are chasing our tails and rewriting the same old stories.
So for the love, please stop over-sexualizing literally everything. Not everyone is trying to be sexy.
