In our day and age, we have easy and fast access to daily news, drama, and each other. We like everything delivered to us at a fast pace. And even more than that, we expect perfect connection and become frustrated when something stalls, a computer crashes, or a Wi-Fi connection is unavailable.
But this perfection and speed isn’t just expected from technology, it’s expected from one another, too. There is pressure to make deadlines, become more efficient, and perform perfectly. These expectations are not only being applied in work and school settings, but in personal relationships as well. If we become unsatisfied or don’t find what we are looking for in someone right away, we move on to the next relationship or friendship.
Now don’t get me wrong: efficiency and perfection is great when it comes to technology. But when it comes to our relationships, we need to realize that people cannot ever be perfect and our expectations of love need to change. We need to stop prioritizing perfection and efficiency, but rather emphasize real love and value our relationships. We need to stop searching for someone perfect to love and start loving perfectly.
Perfect love brings a different kind of happiness and fulfillment. Rather than focusing on what we can get out of a relationship or what someone can do for us, we should be focusing on how learning to love someone perfectly can be better for us in the long run. It may seem impossible and it won’t always be easy, but loving and being loved in the way it was intended to be will ultimately lead our society to a better place.
So, what does perfect love look like?
Perfect Love is patient.
Patient love is greeting your girlfriend with a smile even when she tells you to pick her up at 8pm and isn’t ready until 8:30. Patient love is waiting in a BestBuy while your husband watches the last five minutes of a football game on 15 different TVs. Patient love is acknowledging that your phone call, text message, or tweet can wait because your partner is telling you about their day. Perfect love is shown through having endless tolerance toward others, despite the twinge of annoyance you may feel when someone keeps you waiting, takes advantage of your time, or tests your patience. It is accepting and appreciating someone for all that they are.
Perfect Love is kind.
Kind love is surprising your boyfriend with a pizza after a rough day. Kind love is telling your date to buckle her seatbelt before you drive off. Kind love is sharing a smile with someone who is having a bad day. So men, open the doors for your girls. Surprise them with flowers and cards. Remind them that you love them and tell them that they look pretty. And women, let your men make decisions, let them be independent, support them and encourage them to be and to do what they want. And to everyone reading this, buy a coffee for the person behind you at Starbucks, offer a hand to the woman struggling to carry all her bags, and help the busy dad who has four kids running around and hasn’t realized that one of them ran off. Be kind to others.
Perfect Love is not jealous.
This is shown by trusting your partner, your friend, or your family member. Rather than jumping to conclusions, have faith in your relationships and in the people you have chosen to be in your life. You do not own the person that you are with and they are still free to have other friends and other people in their life. And do not be envious of a success or gain that someone you love experiences. Instead, support them and congratulate them, just as you would hope they would do for you.
Perfect Love is not boastful.
Do not drown your friends, families, and significant others in your own pride. Be proud of who you are and what you have, but understand that it is enough to appreciate these things yourself. Others will notice your achievements and you will be praised, but do not bring that on yourself. And couples, while we all understand that you love your Man Candy Monday or Woman Candy Wednesday, remember that love does not boast about itself. Rather than flaunt to the world how happy you are, instead let that love be reflected by your relationship’s security and joy.
Perfect Love is not proud.
Be humble and be real. You will make mistakes in your relationships. Sometimes you will lose an argument and sometimes you will be proven wrong. Accept this and realize that there are more important things than winning an argument. Stay modest and admit to your own failures, stubbornness, and pride. Admit that your pride gets in the way of you loving your partner perfectly.
Perfect Love is not rude.
Do not point out flaws or mock one another’s insecurities. Build each other up and respect your relationship. Chivalry is not dead and it does not just apply to men. Both men and women should treat each other with nothing but admiration and kindness.
Perfect Love does not demand its own way.
Be wrong. Be selfless. Lose an argument and laugh. Be flexible. If you’re wife wants to go visit her family this Christmas, do it. If you’re boyfriend wants to stay in and watch the football game with his friends, let him. Do not place ridiculous expectations on your significant other and stop being offended because their plans do not align with your schedule. Put each other’s desires over your own.
Perfect Love is not irritable.
Girls, stop rolling your eyes at every comment he makes. Boys, stop huffing and puffing when she goes to three different Targets to find the cookies that she likes. Stop making jabs at each other, just to get the final word in or to cause a fight. Instead of exploding or overreacting, look at your person with love and understanding. The little things really don’t matter. It’s okay if he doesn’t understand why you want to get your nails done and it’s okay if she doesn’t understand your fascination with country music. The little things are not the big things, so don’t let them get to you.
Perfect Love keeps no record of wrongdoing.
This is a big one. Sometimes we let every little thing a person does build up in our heads and in our hearts. Instead of moving on, we gather up each mistake or fight inside and build up a wall between ourselves and our partners. Rather than keeping track of each sarcastic comment, error, or fight, we need to have open conversations with one another and learn to forgive. The grudge we desire to hang on to so tightly will eventually lead to nothing but destructive heartbreak and anger. So forgive and forget.
Perfect Love rejoices in truth.
Be honest and be open. Love does not keep secrets or hide away intimate aspects of someone. Perfect love encourages trust and conversation. Be open with your boyfriend about who you really are and how you really feel. And men, stop feeling like emotions are private and you are not allowed to have any. Be truthful and open with who you are and where your heart is. Real love builds unbreakable trust.
Perfect Love never gives up and endures every circumstance.
Don’t quit. Mistakes happen. Fights happen. He will say the wrong thing and she will do the wrong thing. No relationship will ever be without challenges. Perfect love stays bound together, working through the issues that no one wants to acknowledge. Hardships are unavoidable but learn to handle them together and overcome them as one. Love does not quit. It perseveres and then thrives.
Perfect Love never loses faith & is always hopeful.
Never doubt your relationship. Remain faithful and cling to the hope of better days. Love will have its ups and downs, but remind each other of good times and look forward to what lies ahead. Build your love for one another around your love for the one who made you.
Rather than throwing away what you’ve got, step back and see if you are really loving that person perfectly. Whether it be a friend, a family member, or a significant other, remind yourself of all the good in that person. Look at them with the same love that Christ does and then see if it’s right to let them go. Some relationships truly are not meant to be, but we need to stop throwing away relationships because he didn’t respond to your texts for a day or because she doesn’t fit all of your expectations. Ultimately, learning to love someone perfectly will help you understand how much the creator himself loves you. His love is perfect and if you can understand how to love someone with his love, you’ll see in turn how much of a treasure you are.
