I’ve always been a big advocate for mental health. Mental health, just like physical health, is extremely important in determining a person’s well-being. It’s important to take time to relax and do things for yourself in order to keep your mind and your body healthy.

What I’ve noticed is an increasingly alarming trend of teens romanticizing mental illness. What do I mean by this? I mean that people sugar coat illnesses such as depression and anxiety. They make it seem as something poetic and beautiful, something that you’d want to have. Phrases like “I’m so depressed,” or “I’m so OCD about that,” are made to seem as normal and okay, but the reality of it is that depression, anxiety, and other illnesses aren’t like that at all.

Depression is not beautiful. Depression isn’t that Tumblr post of the girl lying in bed in tears, or the boy stroking the girl’s hair as she rests. Depression is disgusting. It’s lying in bed for hours, maybe days, because getting up seems almost impossible. It’s not listening to sad music or writing beautiful songs because you’re sad. Depression is losing interest in everything you once loved. It’s pushing people away or not making an attempt to talk to people. It’s watching your grades slip but not caring enough to do anything.

Anxiety disorders aren’t something you post about on Facebook to make people feel bad. It’s sitting on the bathroom floor gasping for air because your throat feels like it’s closing up. Social anxiety isn’t the cute girl being too shy to talk to people, it’s being in a room full of people in fear. It’s not being able to talk on the phone, order at a restaurant, or go places alone.

Mental illnesses are not beautiful, they’re debilitating. They’re difficult to deal with and unfortunately, not everyone survives them. Instead of romanticizing illnesses, we should start by lifting up the people who suffer from them instead. We should take the time to look out for our friends when we suspect they’re entering a hard time. We should be considerate of people’s feelings and well-being and understand that people feel things differently. We should encourage others to keep fighting and help each other when we most need it.

Mental disorders change your life forever. Being tired and irritable can cost you friendships and relationships. Having depression can make it hard to go to work or keep a job. Having anxiety can affect your performance in school. Mental disorders aren’t pretty and they aren’t artistic. They’re not something that people should want, yet we live in a society that makes it seem like they’re no big deal. Well here is your wake up call.

Mental illnesses are a big deal. They are real, and they are painful. They’re sad, and make it hard to grip on to life. They’re debilitating and turn strong people into people who feel weak. They change your attitude and the way you think about life and the way you feel about yourself.

Stop romanticizing mental illness.