In a recent meeting with my college professor, she told me: "You have to learn to be your own #1 cheerleader; no one else will do it for you."

It was some tough love that I desperately needed to hear; she wasn't trying to tell me to suddenly get an over-inflated ego or stop striving to support those I love less. I see it more as making a promise to yourself that you will remember to treat your needs and wants with as much diligence as you do for everyone else. You matter, too!

It can be really easy to let people drain your energy; whether by mooching time, energy, or money off of you, being passive-aggressive or otherwise putting you down to raise themselves "higher."

These friends, relatives, or acquaintances are what's known very unofficially as an "energy-vampire:" they feed off the energy of those around them, and degrade their fangs to feel better about their own.

I'd like to challenge us (you, me, your friends, the human race) to stop letting others dictate who and what we can be! It's time to stop apologizing for what makes us feel good and how we choose to shine.

I know this seems like just another cheesy inspirational poster usually hanging next to a sultry One Direction shot in a hastily decorated college dorm room, but I think the issue of subconsciously giving other people the right to our happiness and self-respect goes much deeper than that.

1. Start Putting Yourself First

More often than not, these would-be energetic vampires aren't consciously trying to hurt you, instead just insensitively using your big heart as a jump-starter for their own level of energy. Even Buffy would have her hands full with these buggers around!

Most people that find themselves being projected upon by others are the ones who say: "no, you first!" quite literally when holding the door, and also end up putting others before themselves in life way too often.

When you're tired, refresh yourself with a nap or food; don't feel guilty for taking the time to help yourself be the best you can. You'll be more fully able to be supportive when your own tank is full.

By sometimes saying "no, it's my turn" instead of "yes" when you feel it's necessary, you support yourself, your needs, build respect from others, and often clarify communication in all directions!

2. Speak Up For Yourself

Believe me, this way of living can simply feel safer: if you LET people do what they want, they can't come after you? Right? God forbid, confrontation is a part of your relationship! Empathetic types hate injuring or inconveniencing anyone EVER; it's just not part of our DNA.

But the truth is, as Marianne Williamson would say: "your playing small does not serve the world." And though it might seem more secure to let others run you around to their benefit, it harms not only your self-confidence, inner happiness, and overall joy, but teaches those you interact with that they're allowed to take their energy from others.

Kindly, but firmly let people know where your boundaries are by telling them when something they said or asked of you felt disrespectful. They might actually appreciate the feedback. Hopefully they will apologize and change their behavior in the future. If they aren't even aware that they're transforming into an energetic vampire from time to time, how otherwise can they "put a stake in it," so to speak?

If they are aware, and are using you as a scapegoat on purpose, standing up to them should at least give them a warning sign that you won't take that anymore.

3. Let The Worry Go

If you need a "mental health" day (or week) that is more than OK. Stop feeling guilty for not straightening up your room every day like other people, or for leaving a dish unwashed for a day or two, or for taking a nap when you need to.

Stop feeling guilty. Period.

It's natural to feel pressure to conform to the mindsets of those around you. What isn't natural is letting their judgement and issues eat away at you when these problems probably don't have anything to do with you at their root.

You, and you alone, know what you've been needing to get done and what your priority list looks like on your life path. Be respectful, and be accountable for your actions if they go too far, but don't let the judgement of others weigh on you all day about the little things that don't hold any weight.

Too often, I've let little things others have said about or to me nag at my mind for days at a time. I feel awful if I say the wrong thing, or don't respond to texts right away. The truth is, most of the time, people aren't even thinking about you enough to let it bother them that long, if at all.

The tried-and-true phrase goes, "Will it matter in 5 years?" If the answer is no, then let it go.

My other favorite is: "Can it be fixed this instant?" If not, let it go until you can do something productive about whatever is on your mind.

Stop guilt-tripping yourself, and put that wasted energy to good use elsewhere in your life!

4. It's Not Your Circus

The saying goes, "Not my circus, not my monkeys!"

The moral of the story is: everyone has their own issues and lenses they place on life in order to muddle through. We're human: beautiful, messy, controlling, insecure humans that all have needs and wants. Being such, we have our own experiences to shape our reactions and interactions.

If a person likes to live a small, insecure existence, they'll try to fit you into the box shaped view of how they see reality. If you don't fit that box, they'll try to fit you into it by reducing you.

When you notice this happening, whether the person is trying to make small talk, give you backhanded compliments, or use you for their own ends, just politely remove yourself from that person's company if possible, or at least, mark it down in your mind that what they're saying is their own version of how they see you, not how you truly are.

Take flight from their judgement based on thin air, and leave their circus behind.

Placing yourself into another person's shoes will help you get the perspective you need to keep yourself clear of their "circus." Do a little psychology experiment and try to piece together what this person's gone through that you know of, and why it might make them act the way they do. Then, bring yourself out of their reality, and refocus on your own. Once you realize their reactions stem from a ingrained system of thought, you can distance yourself from the interaction enough to reassess and not put the blame on yourself all the time.

You'll appreciate the differences, and be more prepared to shield yourself against energy vampires every time you do this!

Your energy level and happiness overall will jump for joy! Keep on standing in your power and don't let the vamps steal away your sweetness.