I feel like it's hard not to look at other's relationships and compare them to your own. Social media makes it extremely hard to look away and focus solely on ourselves. We are always looking for ways to fit in or live up to the standards that social media has set for us. It's hard to see someone in what looks like the perfect relationship and not compare it your own. I am definitely guilty of doing this, and honestly, the only thing that comes from constantly comparing your relationship to your everyone else's relationship is a lot of insecurity. Doing this only makes you think that something is wrong with your relationship.
When I started going out with my boyfriend I wasn't really sure what to expect. We actually are each other's first boyfriend/girlfriend so in the beginning we had to just figure things out as we went along. I found myself nervous constantly asking my friends for their advice and trying to do everything they said. See, I've suffered from anxiety and depression for years now, so I was always afraid that my boyfriend would get fed and leave. It's happened to me before with people who turned out to not be as good of friends as I thought they were. They couldn't handle me being sad most of the time, so in the beginning of my relationship I wanted to be perfect. This was the first boy I'd ever opened up to and gave my whole heart.
The more advice my friends gave me, the more insecure I felt. They would tell me things like he should be wanting to sleepover, or that he should be sleeping over most of the time. Even though I tried to reason with my friends about how two people in a twin bed isn't ideal, they'd always bring up their own relationship. It was annoying and honestly almost ruined my relationship. I let my friends get into my head. Even though I was happy with the way things were going, their comments got to me and just made me feel so insecure.
The Facebook problem.
It's impossible to focus on your own relationship when everyone keeps posting about their own. We're all guilty of doing it and honestly there is nothing wrong with it. It's okay to be happy and want to post about something about your significant other. The only problem is when you start looking at other people's relationships and trying to change your relationship to mirror the one you envy.
So what if your friend has been going out with their significant other for the same amount of time that you've been going out with your partner and they're already engaged? It doesn't matter if you haven't had the chance to go on a vacation with your partner yet. Every relationship goes at its own pace and that's completely fine. You also need to realize that your friend's financial situation is not the same as yours. Appreciate when your partner buys you fast food or grocery store flowers, it might be all that they can do right now. Don't wish for what your friends have, appreciate what you do.
When you're looking at all of your friends' pictures and posts about how happy they are in their relationship, remember that you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Not everything is what it seems. You need to take the time to grow with your partner at your own pace. The more you focus on your own relationship and appreciate what you have the happier you will be. That's a promise. Just take it one day at a time and try not to look at your social media too much.
