In honor of Eating Disorder Awareness week, I wanted to talk to one of the most difficult mental struggles in our lives: comparison. As human beings, we instinctively compare ourselves to the people around us. We compare our grades, social lives, economic status, careers, and the list could go on. We constantly strive to be the best we can possibly be. More than anything we worry about our overall happiness in our life and our future. We all try to achieve this idea of a "perfect", happy life, but we lose sight of the fact that perfection is so unattainable and completely uncorrelated with happiness. The idea of "a perfect life" is subjective to everyone. If you went around your community or campus, it is very likely that you would have little to none, identical ideas of happiness..
This probably is not very surprising to you. It is pretty obvious and self-taught by living in our culture that everyone has different ways of thinking. So, if everyone has different ideas of a happy life, why do we compare ourselves, our life, and our progress with the people around us? If this idea of perfection and happiness is merely subjective from person to person than why should we compare?
Stop comparing. Comparing is something we do subconsciously everyday and is part of our human nature. Obviously, we cannot completely erase comparison from our brain because it just happens sometimes and we cannot help it. But, when you are aware of it is when you can really make a difference in your life.
I've struggled with anxiety all my life, and the stress of comparing your future and happiness with others is an anxiety attack waiting to happen.
No one has the same purpose and are supposed to do the same thing. Sure, being a doctor or an engineer is amazing occupation and the people that are successful in these fields, make lots of money and always have a stable job. But, everyone on Earth shouldn't be a doctor. Everyone isn't interested in being an Engineer. Maybe you want to be a teacher. Sure it's a stereotypical low-paying job. People will probably give you a hard time that you go to college and pay thousands of dollars to have a "low-paying job." But, what if we didn't have teachers? We need people who are passionate and dedicated to teaching the people who will eventually become people who will be taking care of our world.
Constantly looking at social media apps, especially Instagram, makes it especially easy to comparing yourself physically to others 24/7, even when you're in your lonesome. It can really drag you down. I've thought several times about deleting my social media, due to its subconscious negative effects it can have on your self esteem and peace of mind. But, it doesn't have to be that way. You should not have to shut out something to make yourself feel better about yourself. Instead, you have to change your mind set.
Just because someone has a toned body and our generation's "perfect physique," does not mean they are better, happy, or more successful to you. Our bodies are merely our physical being and have no result on the mark we leave when we're gone or will change how happy or successful you are as a person. Some of the skinniest Instagram models people are some of the happiest people. Some of them aren't. It varies and your physical appearance has no effect on having a better life. I thought I would be happier if I lost 5 pounds due to comparison to other people I thought had better bodies. Instead, it resulted into years of an eating disorder. I sure looked toned and skinnier, but I felt the exact the opposite of happiness. It is far more important to take care of your body and live your life out to the fullest, without worrying if your stomach looks toned enough or not. It's not important.
When you notice yourself comparing yourself to others, remember these things. It can really help you appreciate your life and take a step back into the reality of your unique and individual purpose of being here on Earth. You are hitting the rewind button in life if you continue comparing what you are doing to everyone else. You are you and instead of turning your head side to side watching what everyone else is doing, look at yourself. Realize, you're living your life, not theirs. They are living to make their mark and purpose and you're living to make yours.
Life gets hard sometimes (just kidding actually a lot) and we all needs a reminder once in a while, so here's mine and yours.
