Recently, my news feed has been flooded with anti-relationship propaganda. Headlines like “25 Reasons Not To Settle Down Before Turning 25”, “8 Reasons You Should Be Single In Your 20’s”and “ Why You Are Better Off Being Single In College” have bombarded all facets of social media. I am a college student who has been in a committed relationship for over five years, and to my surprise, after reading these articles I am not offended or irritated, I am just sad. I am sad to learn that there is such a widespread misconception of what a healthy relationship looks like and how beneficial a healthy relationship in college can actually be. Are all relationships in college healthy? No. And I believe people should avoid being in those kinds of relationships that are restrictive, temperamental and manipulative. But for some reason, our society has wrongly labeled all college relationship as unhealthy, and that is simply not the case. Here are some of the most popular opinions on why college students shouldn’t be in serious relationships, along with my rebuttal to each unfounded accusation.
1. “You will be distracted from your studies.”
On a daily basis, I encounter many things that distract me more than my boyfriend. For instance, when my bank account is in the single digits or when I have to chose between fulfilling work obligations or studying. Trust me, there is no lack of distractions when in college. My boyfriend doesn’t demand my attention or time, he is patient and wants me to succeed. He is not needy or unreasonable, and he is often the person who encourages me and supports me when my school load is overwhelming. His work ethic and determination is inspiring, and it pushed me to be better.
2. “You will put your friendships on the back burner.”
When I hear people this, I automatically know that the person speaking has clearly never been in a committed relationship. Newsflash: relationships aren’t a walk in the park. Like anything worthwhile, they can be challenging. My friends are the people who have given me valuable advice about my relationship and are the people I go to when things are rocky. They balance out the time I spend with my boyfriend with countless GNO’s and sleepovers. And my relationship has never kept me so busy that I couldn’t be there for a friend in need or to be a shoulder to cry on. My boyfriend encourages me to maintain friendships because he wants me to have a healthy social life outside of him.
3. “You won’t grow.”
It is safe to say that my relationship has pushed me to grow more than anything else in my life. I am constantly being pushed to be the best version of myself, and my boyfriend is not afraid to kindly point out when I am not striving for the best. He respects my opinions and encourages me to pursue whatever I think is important. Without his constant support and accountability, I don’t think I would be the person I am today.
4. “ It will add more drama to your life.”
My relationship is a safe place for me to land. Yes, I fight with my boyfriend sometimes, yes, things can get rocky, but at the end of the day, I know I can always count on him. I actually go to him when I can't take all the caddy drama in my friend groups. He gives me wise advice and keeps me level-headed.
There is nothing wrong with being single in college. College is meant to be a fun and life-changing experience, but if you think that a relationship inhibits that, you have never seen or been in a healthy relationship. My relationship has given me someone to do life with, no someone to be tied down by.
Proverbs 27:17 outlines a healthy relationship.
"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
