Let me guess; someone hurt you. Someone hurt you so bad that you are terrified to ever let someone get that close to you again. This could be anyone: a boy, a best friend, a family member. It doesn't matter your relation to this person. You loved them with every single part of you, and some way or another, they let you down. They made you the saddest you’ve ever felt. They made you feel like your entire world was crashing down. They made your hopes and dreams shatter.
Let me take another guess; you’re afraid. You’re afraid of building yourself up from this pain. Because you were already once so happy, so free, so alive. And then someone took it from you. They took your light and they dimmed it so low that you’re not sure how to ever make it shine that bright again. So, why shine again? If you know now that someone can turn you off in a split second, why chance it?
That light inside you, the light that is flickering ever so slightly, is ready. It is ready to glow and to blind the people it meets. Just because someone hurt you does not in any way mean that you need to stay hurt forever, that you need to stay dark forever, that you need to stay sad forever. Whoever it was that hurt you was not meant to be there and although you may think they were the source of your light, they were actually blocking you from shining even brighter. They were a shadow in your life that covered the true glow that should have been radiating off of you.
Losing someone you love is one of the worst things you will ever go through. It feels like the absolute end of the world and it feels like your days will never get better, your smile will never return, your laugh will never be genuine. However, that person you lost is not the one to blame. You should be thanking them for allowing you to become who you needed to be on your own. This darkness you feel is not because of them, it is because of you. You’re not even sad anymore. That was lost a long time ago, when you realized you were better off. You're scared. You’re scared to be vulnerable again and to love that boy or that best friend or that family member with every piece of you because you know what can happen. You’re terrified to trust someone again and to open up because of how violated you felt when the person that knew everything was gone. You’re not allowing YOURSELF to be happy because you are just too afraid to be.
Happiness is the most beautiful thing in the world. It is not a destination. It is a journey. If you keep thinking to yourself that “one day I’ll be happy,” I can promise you that day will never come. Why not today? What is wrong with deciding RIGHT NOW that you are going to push away your fears and embrace that happiness that has been desperately waiting for you? Don’t be afraid to let people in. New people add new experiences to your life, new opportunities to be better and to find better, new ways to see the world. That pain and hopelessness you once felt may come back again, maybe even a few more times, but how do you know you are not missing out on someone who was meant to be a part of your life forever if you never give them the chance?
Keep taking risks, people. Keep putting yourself out there. Keep opening up to new people every single day. If you let the fear of getting hurt again stop you from seeing the world, you will never get to experience the world with any value or admiration. Instead of letting that pain take over your life, use it to further appreciate the things that do work out and the people who do stick around. Stop being scared of being happy. Instead, be brave. Be unique. Be fearless. Be radiant. Be admirable. Be genuine. But, most importantly, find happiness within yourself and just be you again.
