It’s been a year, but still feels weird to refer to you as anything other than my best friend. To talk to you, and have it not feel like second nature to me. Throughout six years of friendship, we experienced our share of ups and downs. However, I don’t think that either of us truly anticipated that our last rough patch would truly end our friendship.

We had been growing apart for months, and a lot of that was my fault. I felt myself growing apart from you, but when things become awkward, I avoid them. When talking to you no longer felt easy, I simply stopped. I put little effort into working it out, because I felt that it wasn’t worth it. And a year later, I regret that decision. I know that our friendship was worth it.

We were both in difficult places in our lives, and took it out on each other. We both held the other responsible for our lack of communication, for our drifting apart, when in reality it cannot be pinpointed to one person or one event in time. I think, at the time, we were both to angry and had too much pride to take responsibility. We both cared too much, and not enough, at the same time.

Before, in the few months that followed our falling out, I was filled with anger and resentment. I would see pictures of you with friends, and feel baffled and also betrayed that you could be a good friend to them, but couldn’t find it in your heart to be one to me. I failed to see my own role in what had happened, and saw you as someone who gave up on me, when truthfully, we gave up on each other.

I just want you to know, though that I want you to be happy. It has been over a year since we have had a true conversation, but I want you to know that I would never turn you away in a time of need. I will always love you, know you, and value the friendship that we had. I will always be there for you, and I know that you would do the same for me.

I hope your life is good. I hope you are surrounded by good friends, and don’t get too stressed about school because I know that you tend to get overwhelmed. I hope your family is doing well, and you see them a lot because I know how close you all are. I hope that you are accomplishing everything you hope to, and I hope that you have good people to sit by your side while you do it. Even though I no longer be one of those people. I guess that’s the thing about someone you’ve been friends with for years. You can stop talking, end the friendship, and never see each other again. But you can’t stop caring.