I think one of the saddest and most self-deprecating habits girls have is relying on others for their choices regarding the way they look. How many times have you asked your friends, “Do you think I should cut my hair?” or “Do you think fuller eyebrows would look crazy on me?” Why do girls do this? Why do we have this strong need for a second opinion before every decision regarding our beauty?

The answer is pretty dang obvious — we’re scared. We don’t want to be the girl that everyone makes fun of behind her back. We worry if the compliments we receive are genuine or if we are actually the butt of a joke.

Makeup shaming is one of my biggest pet peeves. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the girls who spent all morning getting ready, walking out of the house feeling so confident and beautiful, only to be mocked and torn down completely.

How does someone else wearing makeup have any effect on your daily life? Shocker, it doesn’t. What’s the harm in someone wanting to put their “best face forward” by their own definition? Is it hurting you that a girl in your class has purple hair? Is her purple hair causing you to have a nosebleed? Yeah, no, that’s what I thought.

All of growing up I struggled with this need of reassurance. I grew up with dark hair that I hated more than I hate when I sneeze after applying mascara. I never felt like myself with it; it was like I was wearing this bizarre wig all the time. But my friends always told me that it looked good on me and I would look ridiculous with blonde hair. I looooved blonde hair. But if all of my friends thought I couldn’t pull it off then, well, I mean they can’t all be wrong, right?

Long story short, I dyed my hair blonde without telling anyone (literally didn’t even tell my mom) and it was one of my best decisions.

You have to do whatever it is that makes you feel beautiful. If you don’t fit your own definition of beauty because you’re trying to fit everyone else’s, then you’re going to end up a pretty miserable person.

If you want to try a new hairstyle, then why not? It’s hair. It can grow back. You can always dye it another color. If you want to try a bold lipstick, a smoky eye, or wear a pair of false eyelashes, then why don’t you? Beauty Secret #001 – makeup washes off.

Stop relying on your friend’s opinions for beauty decisions. If you want to wake up one day and have eyelashes as long as our pink hair like my girl Nicki, then you do you.

If you want to have hella long fingernails like Khloe, do it.

If you want to grow out your eyebrows to achieve the arches of Cara, do it.

If you think something is pretty or you find a look appealing, then there shouldn’t be anything stopping you from trying it out. Everyone should always feel confident and beautiful; whether it’s with a full on glammed out face, or a face with absolutely no makeup at all, you should feel beautiful.

This is your hair, your body, your face. Why would you rely on someone else’s opinion to decide what will make you feel beautiful. I think if we all stopped worrying about what everyone thought, and we all stopped feeling like everyone needs to hear our opinion, we would all benefit. Do whatever it is that makes you feel beautiful and do it with confidence.

If you want to hear more people share their thoughts and opinions on makeup shaming and confidence, I highly recommend these two videos by two of my favorite beauty legends, Samantha Ravndahl and Nikkie: