"Thank you for applying to so and so college. Unfortunately, we could not offer you a spot to our university for the fall semester."

Reading this as one of the second college letters I received wasn't a very exciting thing. It was actually some of the worst news I'd ever received.

The whole college process is daunting, especially waiting for your letters back. As soon as you see that email in your inbox or that letter in the pile of mail on your paper, a sense of fear flows through you. "Did I make it, did I not?"

For me, all of my friends have been accepted into at least one college. And then there's me.

I haven't been accepted to any.

I've gotten wait listed twice and denied once. I feel nothing but doubt.

How can I have high hopes of getting accepted after half of the colleges I applied to did not accept me?

I've never been an A-plus student. But I have been a well-rounded student. I've always liked participating and getting involved in as much as I can. My resume is quite good, but my grades are not as spectacular as they could be.

I have no hopes for getting into college now. I've had so many disappointments with my letters back, and I can't think of actually getting accepted.

I'm extremely happy for all of my friends when they get accepted to college. Almost every week I find out about another person who got into one school or another. There is always that exciting text in our group chat followed by someone sending the confetti emoji.

As much as I am happy for them, I also get very aggravated and mad. If one more person gets into college and I don't, I'll probably freak. I just want that exciting confetti emoji that everyone else has gotten. I have nothing, though.

My goal for the rest of the college process is to be calm and stay positive. I don't want to keep thinking as negatively as I have been. Something my mom has been saying is "no news is good news."

And I guess she is right.

Just because I'm impatient and want an acceptance now, doesn't mean I'm denied. I have to wait and see what my future holds for me. Whether I get into the college of my dreams, or not. I must be optimistic.