If you made it passed the title of this article, congrats! Even more congrats if you are of the male persuasion, because let’s be honest: this does not sound too cute. 

So whether it be due to blatant curiosity, or for having also felt the pain of what I’m about to explain, let me introduce to you all the "stick-on bra."

Sooner or later every girl runs into this issue. Whether it’s a formal dress that has a plunging back or a going-out top that just doesn’t work with any type of bra, a sorority girl’s secret weapon is what’s now  lovingly referred to as “sticky boobs."

To give a description to those who have yet to encounter this miraculous invention, a stick-on bra is quite literally gooey crap much like a cup-shaped band aid that you stick onto your body so that you don’t have slope-style, Kim Possible-esque boobs.

(Speaking of the Kim’s of the world...Boys, let me share a little secret: the fabulous Kim Kardashian and all of her voluptuous glory has been helped a time or two by sticky boobs.)

Now you may be thinking, wow, these things sound great, or at least practical. Well, let me just say, there are bountiful downsides to these flimsy, flubbery friends. First of all, everything you could ever  imagine gets stuck on them. Just holding these things somehow collects dust and hair. God forbid if you  drop your sticky boobs on the ground, because every crumb and or piece of lint that has ever touched  your floor will somehow have cosmic pull towards these cursed cups and cling onto them for dear life.

Don’t even mention the amount of sweat sticky boobs collect. When you’re dancing up a storm at formal, the last thing you want is your stick on bra slipping and sliding like a chubby kid at Waterpark of America. Then, after you’ve made it to the end of the night, one of two things will happen. Either the sticky boobs will be seemingly superglued to your torso (ripping them off will rip your fake tan off along with them) or, more likely, the stick-on bra has melted off your being and will never render another use (a great $20 spent if you ask me). 

The worst downside, of course, is if a male discovers this sweaty secret for himself. Imagine the lust of a game day ruined by a girl literally peeling of a bra that most likely has sweat, hair, lint, or a combo of the  three stuck to it. You can get the idea for yourself this is not an attractive situation.

All-in-all one can grasp the concept that sticky boobs are a seemingly practical endeavor that, sooner or later, betrays the wearer. From dust, to crumbs, to buckets of sweat, sticky boobs are just another  disgusting thing we girls have to learn to deal with. Now that this sorority secret is out for all to hear,  just know that other ladies can relate, and hopefully your next situation won’t be so sticky.