We've all heard the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” It’s a short sentence that implies that no matter what people say, they can never break your spirit — and that’s definitely true, right? Wrong.
Hurtful words are tossed around all day, every day, seemingly at every turn. Under the guise of free speech, people say what they want to say, when they want to say it and to whomever they want to say it. And now, since the advent of social media, people feel even more free and empowered to spew hate and insults freely and recklessly. Someone can hit you with a jab so nasty that it practically knock the wind out of you. Everyone talks about how mean kids can be. We remember that from our own childhoods, but when did making fun of someone get so out of hand — and become so deadly?
We’re all well aware of “regular” bullying, where a kid gets physically attacked by other kids in school (which is a whole other topic that also needs to be addressed). But what is becoming more and more prevalent to me is the rise of Internet bullying.
Some might wonder why someone’s words via a text message or tweet can have such an effect on someone’s emotional health. Cyber bullies have a distinct advantage over their victims: the anonymity of the Internet. Something they would never say to a person’s face flows so much easier when they let their fingers do the talking.
Plain and simple: Words affect us. They can either boost our confidence, or completely burn us out and, just like that, we’re finished. Out for the count. Done.
I was recently watching “The Bachelorette: Men Tell All” (judge me all you want — I seriously dare you) and the current bachelorette, Kaitlin Bristowe, tearfully talked about how she has been the target of slut shaming. People have tweeted their disapproval of her own adult decisions about her own adult love life. These tweets ranged from people calling her disgusting names to wishing death upon her!
She’s one of many. I personally know people who have received anonymous hateful comments on Tumblr and Twitter. You see, there’s something about words that do something to us. We all have our own insecurities already, but when someone says something to you, something that turns on that dark, desperate, vulnerable part of your mind, those words are not only venomous, but can be deadly as well. The shame, humiliation and despair that come with widespread hateful comments have resulted in more than a few people taking their own lives. In case you didn’t know, suicide is the third leading case of death in this country.
That being said, there’s a change.org petition started by Danielle Green and Angie Stagge, both of whom lost their daughters, Angel Green and Chelsea Lynn Little, to suicide brought on by physical and cyber bullying. These moms have been fighting to pass the Safe Schools Improvement Act, which would help schools in our country get a firmer handle on bullying.
You don’t need to see a long list of statistics to know that the rise in the number of people who have committed suicide over hurtful words is troubling, but I'll give them to you anyway. According to DoSomething, 80 percent of teens regularly use a cell phone, which is the easiest place for cyber bullying to occur. And we all know that social media gives ‘friends’ greater access to us and makes it easier for people to use their knowledge of us to prey on our insecurities. The mind is the most dangerous place to be, and for cyber bullies, once they’re in your mind, they’re in control and set out to wreck havoc.
Bullies aren’t the only perps, though. When bullies torment you with words, not only are they turned against you, but so are you. Doesn’t make sense? Think about it. You don’t have one tormentor anymore, but two. Bullies are able to use their gross words to hurt you so badly that you start to believe them, ultimately leading to your own thoughts bullying you. Simply “ignoring” people’s words is easier said than done. Whenever we’re hurt by words, it’s not because we’re weak or emotional. It’s because we’ve felt the intended jab that was left by someone’s words — and it worked. And boy, did it hurt.
Even though cyber bullying is relevant in the news, it seems as if it’s still not that important to people. How many more suicides, self-harmers and emotionally bruised people do we have to witness before we get serious and become more proactive? Truth is, I don’t know. Seriously. I don’t have an answer for you. It’s a frustrating topic that is always in the news, yet isn’t a top priority for a lot of us. Cyber bullying isn’t as black and white as people may think. It’s not just physical and it’s not as simple as “just fighting back” because if you were a victim of hateful words being spewed at you, you’d know that while “fighting back” is doable, it’s not that easy. Not. At. All.
From slut shaming to jabs about people’s weight, race, sexuality, social class and just about anything else, cyber bullying is EVERYWHERE. And you wonder why we have a generation of insecure people? “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? Think again: Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can definitely hurt us.
