A Stereotypical Letter to My Emo Freshman Self

A Stereotypical Letter to My Emo Freshman Self

High school is a difficult experience and boy did my emo fourteen-year-old self underestimate that!
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Dear Emo Freshman Me,

I'm writing from your senior year. Shocking right? Not that you're a senior, but that suddenly time travel has been made possible in just four years! Now, I know the question you're dying to ask yourself, "Self, am I hot yet?" the answer is simply "No." You're madly in love with your first boyfriend, right? Snap out of it! You can't let men dictate your life early on. The relationship will eventually make you feel tied down. When you're out of it, don't crawl back three times because he doesn't want you anymore. Don't be afraid to be alone again because:

A) You're fourteen. It's not a priority to be in love.

B) YOU'RE FOURTEEN, HONEY! A whole high school career is ahead of you. You have a wide opportunity to suck face.

C) It's for the best if we're being honest here.

You will love him when you're apart deeply. But that "loving deeply" can easily turn into an obsession and you cannot let four years of your life revolve around being caught on a freshman experience. You'll drive that relationship into the ground and annoy the hell out of your friends for three years. He'll mean a lot to you, and he'll hurt you a lot so don't lurk where you don't need to be. Put yourself out there because you deserve more than someone who only wants you for your rockin' body (the lightest you'll be in high school so cherish it).

Your friends will turn on you before they graduate. The reasons they desert you are simple but just remember: it is not your fault. You did not do anything intentional or sneaky or wrong. People leave for various reasons and just because you don't have a place where you feel you belong, that does not mean you don't matter to anyone. You'll care for them more than you care for yourself. Don't let yourself get in the middle of things you don't belong in or need to be involved in. Focus on your own mental health, doormat.

Now, your family is as regular as it can be. You're in for a wild ride your sophomore and junior year. Dad will get hurt multiple times. Surgeries, surgeries, surgeries! It may destroy you and your first semester grades, but think of yourself. Take some time for yourself.

Ground yourself. Remember who you are and where you want to go.

Where you want to go is DEFINITELY not Berkley anymore so stop trying in band. But also, don't give up on saxophone or guitar because your band teacher makes you feel worthless. Stop letting your boyfriend poke you while you play, nobody thinks it's cute.

Here is a string of advice:

Love yourself. You don't need to lose weight to be loved or to be beautiful. The internet will tell you that as a trend in 2014!

Focus on the future. You have so much to offer but you are required to narrow it down junior year (as told by every adult you know).

Intimate relationships are not important. Boys you're going to talk to will pretend their goods are gold but trust me honey, it's nothing but a musty swamp.

Don't let society's gender-norms decide who you can hang out with and how to dress. Your family hates you wearing dad's flannels and everyone will call you a lesbian sophomore year, but ignore it. Dress comfortably. You aren't there to impress anyone. Keep rocking those sweatpants!

Get involved. Pep rallies aren't fun and are ridiculous, but that doesn't mean you can't contribute! Maybe you'll actually have friends in your grade when you do it!

Don't open up so easily to everyone. That one group in your grade will leak everything you do causing people to try to fight you. Just be careful.

Do not allow the opinions of you define who you are.

Pick a school.

Get close to your teachers.

TAKE OFF THE BOTTOM EYELINER.

STOP DYING YOUR HAIR BLACK. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES.

Love yourself.

Treat yourself.

Be your least-cringey self.

And last, but most importantly, do NOT like the Minions. So far, you've been successful. Even now you hate them.

Stand up for yourself and NEVER let anyone hurt you or push you around.

All of this sounds generic and rolling your eyes hurts after so many times, but snakes can't bite you if you don't go deep into the woods.

Your suddenly not-emo senior self,

Cammie.

Cover Image Credit: Cammie Breakfield

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To The Girl Who Isn't Graduating On Time, It Won't Feel Any Less Amazing When You Do

Graduating is something to be proud of no matter how long it takes you.

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To the girl who isn't graduating college "on time,"

I promise, you will get there eventually, and you will walk across that graduation stage with the biggest smile on your face.

You may have a different journey than the people you grew up with, and that is OKAY. You may have some twists and turns along the way, a few too many major changes, a life change, you may have taken most of a semester off to try to figure your life out, and you're doing the best you can.

Your family and your friends don't think less of you or your accomplishments, they are proud of your determination to get your degree.

They are proud of the woman you are becoming. They don't think of you as a failure or as someone any less awesome than you are. You're getting your degree, you're making moves towards your dreams and the life that you have always wanted, so please stop beating yourself up while you see people graduating college on time and getting a job or buying a car.

Your time will come, you just keep doing what you need to do in order to get on that graduation stage.

Your path is set out for you, and you will get there with time but also with patience. The place you're at right now is where you are supposed to be. You are going to thrive and you are going to be the best version of you when you graduate and start looking for a company that you will be proud to work for. Don't look on social media and feel less than, because at least you're still working towards your degree that you are finally passionate about. You will be prepared. You will be ready once the time comes and you cross the stage, move away, and start your journey in whatever field you're going into.

Don't question yourself, and be confident in your abilities.

With love,

A girl who isn't graduating on time

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Finding Your Worth In The Rest Instead Of The Productive

Genesis 1 has more behind in than we thought...

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"And there was evening, and there was morning" (Genesis 1 NIV)

Have you ever looked at Genesis like a poem? Have you ever considered the creation story to be a beautiful love poem to us? I did not until I listened to this amazing podcast that rocked my world. I started listening to the BEMA podcast while on a mission trip with my host family. They played us this podcast and my whole perspective on the meaning of Genesis 1 changed forever. I am not going to give a word by wordplay on what the podcast said, but wanted to dive into one part that made me look at the idea of "resting" differently.

In the podcast, they discuss how it starts with "evening" and not "morning." We say our days start in the morning with productivity, but the podcast said the Lord wanted us to start our days with "rest." That is why it says "evening" instead of "morning." This part is listed after each day and then on the seventh day, God said it was holy and did not start a new day as an invitation to us to start our days with rest. It also discussed the importance of Sabbath and that holy day.

I am not going to get biblical, but I wanted this message about not finding our worth in productivity to be talked about a little this morning. I also planned my days the night before… I would wake up, workout, cook, go to work, homework, walk the dog, etc. then come back to some nice Netflix and a bubble bath. "Was it a successful day?" I would ask myself based on all the things I did that day instead of all the quiet time I had in rest with the Lord that day.

What a crazy concept. Looking at Genesis 1 like a poem to me stating, "child don't find your worth in productivity" means so much because we as humans tend to do that. We want to be the best of the best at everything we do and to do that we work, and work, and never stop working. God wants us to know since we are created in His image, we are "very good." Notice after every other creation he says "it was good" but after the creation of us, he says "it was very good." We are not "perfect" human beings regardless of how hard we try to be. We strive to be the busiest by comparing schedules, we want to be the best at what we do so we put in the hours, but when can we allow ourselves to be the best at just being us? When is it socially okay for us to rest and spend time in quiet to renew our minds?

I am currently a full-time missionary with not much responsibility besides ministry. Back in the states, I was busy all day and would find fun things to do at night. Out here when I am not doing ministry, I end up finding things for myself to do just to be busy. I won't get home until December 1st and I am already car and job searching. I want to learn how to REST and BE. Who is with me?

I encourage you to go back and read Genesis 1 sweet friends, look closely at what it is trying to tell us. Find your worth in the heavenly father, not in your earthly desires. You were created and you were "very good" to God. You are loved for who you are and not what you do.

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