Learning to love yourself is harder than it should be. Sometimes it is because we dwell on our mistakes, therefore, we don't like ourselves or sometimes we just don't know ourselves. There are a lot of things that can block you from loving yourself and there are a lot of things that can help you love yourself. Here are 5 things to stop doing and 5 things to start doing that can help you be able to say "I love myself."
Stop blaming yourself
A lot of us blame ourselves for a lot of things and there are others who only blame others. It is important to realize when things are your fault and not always blame others, but sometimes it is just not your fault. Every break-up, heartbreak or something you have been through is not always your fault. Sometimes some people are just awful and hurt you, but sometimes, even then, we find ways to blame ourselves for it. This can put a lot of weight on your self-confidence and it is something you need to stop. Not everything bad that has happened to you is your fault. Even if something was your fault, it is okay to make mistakes because nobody is perfect, so stop blaming yourself so much.
Stop letting others run your life
When you are growing up your parents teach you what is right and what is wrong. They teach you responsibility and send you on your way. Hopefully, during this time they taught you what they can about independence, the rest you need to learn yourself. It is up to you to become who you want to be but sometimes it can be hard. There are many people who want you to be a certain thing. It can be family members, friends or even strangers telling you who you SHOULD be. Some people try so hard to be accepted that they become someone they are not. That is something you can not do because if you live your life as someone else you will never be happy. We can't love ourselves if we don't know who that is.
Stop comparing yourself to others
This is a downward spiral that we all get into and sometimes we don't realize it. We see the media and see these beautiful people and wish we looked like them. We see someone with great hair or great skin and we wish we had their looks. We always want something we don't have. Sometimes it is someones life and how successful they are or maybe how much money they have. We are constantly being compared to others and a lot of times we are comparing ourselves. If we are too busy comparing ourselves to others, we may never truly see ourselves or see what is great about us.
Stop dwelling on your past
This is easier said than done because it is way too easy for our minds to drift in memory of the past. Whether it is a past trauma, a mistake or a life we left. We spend hours thinking about the past and wondering what we could've done differently. However, when you are looking back, you can never move forward. You don't want to think too much about the bad memories or the ones you could've had because you might miss the chance to make new memories. If you dwell on your past, you won't be able to pick yourself back up and live a better life.
Stop trying so hard for people who wouldn't do the same for you
A lot of people had to learn this the hard way. Some people don't deserve your loyalty because they wouldn't do the same for you. A friend, boyfriend/girlfriend or even family member sometimes don't try that hard to be there for you when you would be there in a heartbeat for them. You try so hard to be the best person you can be for them but don't get the same in return. It is good to be selfless and love people but sometimes people just aren't worth it. You need to realize that you are worth more and they just don't deserve you.
Start focusing on yourself
It's good to be selfless and take care of other people, it's a good trait to have, but sometimes you need to put yourself first. If we don't focus on ourselves we could lose ourselves amongst the chaos of pleasing other people. Without focus on yourself, you won't be able to find yourself and that means you won't be able to love yourself. Learning to love yourself takes focus on yourself.
Start taking care of yourself
Taking care of yourself means taking care of your physical and mental health. Exercise or stay active whether it is working out, walking or taking a hike. Drink a lot of water and eat your fruits and veggies. Also, don't forget to treat yourself! Get a brownie if you want and treat yourself to a really good coffee. Take a bubblebath and listen to your favorite music. If you take care of yourself and treat yourself, it can benefit your mental health and benefit your self-confidence.
Start surrounding yourself with positive people
These are the people that will bring you up when you are down. They are the people that don't passively insult you or give you those strange backhanded compliments. People who put you down or judge you aren't your friends and they aren't the people you need in your life. When you are surrounded by love and support, it is easier to love and support yourself.
Start challenging yourself
It is good to give yourself goals and challenges you want to achieve. When there is something interesting for you to keep doing, it helps your mental health. It is also good to challenge yourself because you are always more capable than you think. Face a fear or step out of your comfort zone because after you do that, you feel good about yourself. Once you see how brave you really are, it helps you realize that you are more incredible than you think.
Start focusing on your future
What do you want? This is something you need to ask yourself because it will help you focus on your future. You can achieve great things when you put your mind to it. Focusing on your future and making a bucket list can help you learn more about yourself. Learning what you want out of life brings you closer to yourself.
I hope these 10 things helped you learn to love yourself. When it comes to loving yourself, it is up to you and only you. Loving yourself ultimately means doing what is best for you and focusing on you. You are everything and you are beautiful.
