6 Steps To Get Over An Ex

6 Steps To Get Over An Ex

We all need some pointers every now and then.

Cassie
Cassie
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Let's just be honest, breakups hurt no matter who initiates the uncoupling. They are extremely tough to go through and you are not alone in your struggles. We've all been there and we'll all get through it, it just takes time.

Here are the five best things to do if you find yourself a member of the Lonely Hearts Club.

1. Cut cold turkey.

You know the saying : out of sight, out of mind. The less reminders of your ex the easier it is to move on.

2. Me-time. 

Give yourself space to focus on your feelings and what you want.

3. Go to the gym.

Work on getting healthy, as well as the extra endorphins, will give you an extra boost.

4. Call your mom. 

Your mom will always be there for you and I'm sure after all the "I told you so's", she would be happy to listen to you.

5. Spend ample time with friends.

This is probably a no-brainer, but have a night out or night in with a couple of good pals always raises the spirits.

6. Ice cream.

This might be contradictory to number three, but ice cream will ALWAYS help.

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An Appreciative Thank You Letter To My Ex-Boyfriend

"And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day and something reminds you you wish you had stayed. You can plan for a change in weather and time but I never planned on you changing your mind"
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Exes get a lot of backlash in breakups. This letter is not that. This letter is not bashing my ex-boyfriend for doing what was best for him. This letter is being written for the pure reason I want to thank him for what he has done, but I am simply not strong enough to send it to him myself.

Thank you for the time we had together. In the moment, I was able to give and receive affection, have good times, and laugh at the smallest. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have memories that I can look back on and smile about. Our relationship isn't something I regret, in fact, it taught me a lot about myself. The days we spent together were some of the happiest and best days of my life. I hope you know that.

Thank you for the unforgettable experience of my hand being held in yours. Thank you for rubbing my back when it was bothering me. Thank you for taking care of me when I didn't take care of myself. You were the only person who got me to eat during finals week. You were also the only person who was able to keep me calm going into the last month of college, and that means the world to me. I have never met someone who could get me to be so comfortable so quickly. I have never slept better than with your arms around me all those nights. You never complained once when I was being a pain instead you let me realize it and then we would laugh it off. We never picked fights and when we did fight, you wouldn't run away or shut me out. You listened. You were the first person who ever gave me a chance to say what I felt and you never made me feel bad about it.

From the second I met you, I could tell that there was something about you that had me hooked, simply by the look in your eyes. I connected with you so easily and quickly that I have never connected with someone like that before. That spoke mountains to me, for me to be able to open up to you and talk to you the way I did. You were the first boy I have ever met that made me feel beautiful in my own skin. You complimented me everyday, even if I looked like I rolled out of bed. You never let me go a day without knowing just how much you cared and that brings me to tears to this day. Tears because it makes me so happy to remember you doing that. You taught me how to feel beautiful and confident. You never made me feel ashamed for anything in my life, and you supported me through every choice I made.

You proudly introduced me to your family and friends as your girlfriend. You never tried to hide me from anyone you met. You made me a priority in your life, and for the first time I was put first. Your family welcomed me from the second they met me and that warms my heart because to me they could see that I was someone important in your life.

I invested my emotions, my thoughts, and my time in you. I only hope that that has brought you happiness. I hope that when you look back at us, that you smile and are grateful for the time spent. I hope that I made you as happy as you made me in the short time we were together.

Looking back, I am not mad or upset. I do not hate you or wish you the worst. I am very proud of you for realizing that you needed to do what was best for you and at that time in life that wasn't me. I am only sorry that I couldn't do more for you. But whatever you set out to do in this life, I wish you nothing but the best. I wish you years of happiness and laughter. And I wish that you accomplish all of the dreams you set for yourself. I hope you miss what we had just as much as I do; because for the first time in a very long time it was the only real thing I had to hold on to. You gave me more than you'll ever realize and for that I am forever grateful.

Thank you for everything. For treating me like I mattered, putting me first, caring about me, wiping my tears, making me smile, and holding my hand through thick and thin. I am forever thankful for the relationship we had. No one has made the impact you did in the short amount of time together. You are truly one of a kind and I hope you realize that you deserve nothing but the best in this life.

Sincerely,

The appreciative ex-girlfriend.

Cover Image Credit: Katie Nicastro

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To The Boy I Fell In Then Out Of Love With, A Final Message

I want people to understand it is VERY possible to fall in love with the wrong person.

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It wasn't right.

And as much as it pains me to come to this realization, it's also liberating.

I fell in love with you. But I fell in love with the wrong person.

I'm sorry for trying to change you. I'm sorry for trying to reconstruct who you are as a person. But, because I now see these red flags and understand the emotional exhaustion we caused each other, I know now it can't work. I had too much hope in the potential — the what could have been. The impossible. I envisioned the ideal, picturesque relationship with you. I thought that if you changed the things I wanted you to change, everything would be fine. I couldn't force you to do that, though. I couldn't keep forcing anything.

There are so many beautiful things about you I will cherish forever.

I see so much good in you that a lot of people couldn't. Our relationship was special and strong in certain ways. You were the first person I ever really fell for. And for that, I will hold a place in my heart for you that will never, ever leave, no matter who comes into my life.

You are irreplaceable.

That being said, it's important to also note where things went wrong. Where things just couldn't be fixed. Where tireless effort just wasn't worth it anymore.

Love isn't supposed to be easy, but it also shouldn't be nearly as difficult as we made it out to be. I'm sorry we couldn't love each other. Maybe in another time or another life, it will be different. But it won't work now.

To the boy I fell in love with, I loved you, but I can't be with you.

I want people to understand it is VERY possible to fall in love with the wrong person. Red flags can pervade, but you will push them under the table because you don't want them to be true. I want people to realize you can still find so much good in a person and fall for a person for so many different reasons, but they STILL aren't right for you. All of this is real and valid and NEEDS to get addressed. If not, you will find yourself in an endless, toxic cycle of hurt and heartache.

Below, I've attached an article written by Kristine Fellizar entitled "20-Easy-To-Miss Signs You're In Love With The Wrong Person." I would make a list myself, but I feel like her list explicates this topic well, and I related to many of the ideas embedded in her piece.

Don't look at your past relationships as a mistake. Learn and grow from one another. Find that person that shouldn't have to change anything for you. You deserve a love that is wholesome and worth it.

You can be happy. Love someone for them. No more molding. No more wishful thinking. Just loving.

Easy, simple loving.

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