Being dumped really really sucks. You're going to go through your stages of crying, Instagram stalking, driving by his house, reinstalling (and deleting) tinder, and eating your feelings in a few pints of ice cream (or bottles of wine, if you're anything like me). But the feeling after you get over that break up is incredible. Once you realize it's time to stop the water works and pity party, you're going to look at yourself and wonder why you ever let a boy have this kind of power over you. You're going to wonder why you let him hold you back and you're going to realize your worth. The point in time where you forget what his (or her!) voice sounds like and you stop driving by their house is when you know you've accomplished something. Much like the steps of grief, the steps after a breakup are extremely important as well.
You're still emotionally attached to them
And that's completely okay! Because when you spend a lot of time with someone, that's what's going to happen. You'll still text or call them, they're still going to be the first person you want to share your good news or bad day at work with. Especially if you spent a decent amount of time together, it's going to seem like they're going to always be the one you need to go to. This emotional dependency is to be expected, at first, but don't let it get to you.
And maybe physically too...
And it's nobody's business but your own if you're waking up in each other's beds again, but you need to take a step back and evaluate things -- are you both okay with this? Is this some revenge, rebound thing? What are you trying to accomplish here, if anything? Is it realistic? You're going to have to make sure you remind yourself that a physical relationship may not mean anything, it's no guarantee that you're going to get back together and sex won't change either of your minds. But remember why things happened and that you can't depend on this to make you think you're getting back together.
But then you'll realize you don't need him
Because you've got all these guys on tinder and you're a free woman and that boy that sits behind you in math class is adorable, so why not go for it? You'll start to think of all the things you didn't do while in your relationship. Take that pole dancing class, buy those spike heels, do whatever you feel is best, girlfriend. Do something more productive by picking up more hours at work or do some yoga or paint; free yourself. You spent so much time worrying about what was best for the both of you, you didn't have time to focus on what was best for yourself.
But you'll still feel disgustingly faithful towards him
Because the thought of anyone new is going to make you sick, their lips won't taste the same and there won't be any "remember that time we..." Getting close to anyone else is going to be difficult at first because you're still in this state of emotional shock where you're harboring on all the things (good and bad) about your last relationship. You're going to feel like you want to take charge and see other people, but it's going to be emotionally strenuous on yourself. Make sure you're not using male attention from other places as a form of validation, and be careful if you're going to resort to rebounds.
But you don't need him and you're going to move on
At least that's what you'll keep telling yourself. But go ahead and do it, because you don't need to answer to anyone and you're your own boss. Swipe on tinder, flirt with the guy that made your lunch, make time for people you wouldn't have in your relationship. You're your own person, don't let him hold you back! You don't even have to be with anyone to move on, either! That's the best part about this, you're going to learn to love yourself and find comfort in your solitude.
Your power trip...
You're a beautiful, strong, independent woman, and you're taking back your life right now. Because guys will come and go, and even though it seems like the worst thing in the world at first, it's going to get better. And you're going to realize it's getting better and easier to deal with every day. But right now, here you are, taking back what's yours and putting the pieces together. You don't have to figure everything out right away, but it'll come to you. You'll realize the changes you need to make in your life if you're unhappy. You'll be able to use this time in your life to grow as a person and make the change to be the person you're meant to be. You can quit your job, you can get up and move to where you always wanted to; the ball is completely in your court to do whatever the hell you want.
Boy, bye.
Queen Beyonce taught us this one all too well. Why should you stick around and stress over a guy who clearly didn't deserve you? Know your worth, and know he's not worth it! You're completely over it and you don't even know what his voice sounds like anymore. You've learned to deal with what happened and you let yourself grow apart from him. It's not the end of the world that he couldn't love you because you've got you to love you, and seriously, what's better than that?
