Drowning in a sea of papers, emails, projects and jobs, I can't say “no.” People always asking me to help because they know I'll get things done in a timely manner without half-a**ing. I volunteer to help with anything and everything, taking on much more than I can actually handle. I am that friend that everyone says needs to learn to say “no,” and I'm trying. I preach to my friends when they take on too much, but I've never been good at taking my own advice.
Learning to say “no” is sometimes the hardest lesson. You want to do everything while you can. Get involved, take on leadership roles, gain work experience and get good grades. The world tells us that we need to be “well-rounded” in order to get a good job once we graduate, but at what cost? What will all of those all-nighters and stressful breakdowns get me? I have always felt that if I say “no” I will be losing out on an opportunity, letting someone down, or letting myself down. I am afraid of hurting someone by saying I cannot help them or hurting myself because I could not do everything I wanted. But sometimes it's necessary to say “no” for yourself.
At the beginning of my junior year of college I had to say “no” to something I love: swimming. For my own physical and mental health, I had to give up the sport that got me through four years of high school and the first two years of college. After not recovering well from surgery the summer before, I still thought I could compete. Diving into the water I realized it was just not possible. I tried my hardest to push through, but I knew I needed to give it up for me. I needed to say “no” to something for my personal health and that is the hardest thing to do.
As young adults we often believe we are invincible and can take on the world. We overexert ourselves trying to do it all. As I sit here with graduation approaching, the best advice I can give to an undergrad is to not be afraid to say “no.” Put your heart and soul into whatever you can do and do not put yourself in a position where you no longer enjoy yourself. Don't be afraid to take a night off and take some time for yourself. Spend an evening with your friends playing Cards Against Humanity or binge watching Netflix. Laugh until you cry and forget about all the work you have to do, even if it's just for a minute. Use your time wisely and get things done early so you can pull an all-nighter laughing with your friends, instead of sitting in the computer lab, spinning your chair and stressing over those papers you have due the next day. I’m not telling you to blow off your school work, but I am telling you to enjoy the little things. Whether it is a two-hour break of watching a movie and eating ice cream, or a ten-minute trip to Wendy’s to refuel for the night ahead, engross yourself in the moment.
Throughout my four years of college, I met some of my best friends and will have the most amazing memories, and they are all from those times that I stopped worrying about the amount of work I had to do. I realized while at school that I spent too much time trying to please everyone else and tried to focus on myself, at least for the last couple of years. I may not have been 100 percent successful, but I’ve now learned my limits. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to say “no” to another job or position, despite what people tell you. Taking time to remind yourself who you are, what you love and why you’re doing what you’re doing is the most important thing you can do for yourself. So, just for a minute, stop worrying and assess all of the things you are working on or are currently a part of. Are you happy with each and every one? Or has it become a burden to your health, physically or mentally? If it is a requirement, push through, be productive and get through it in the best way you can. Otherwise, do not be afraid to do things for you and do not wear yourself down.
