As Sexual Assault Awareness Month draws to a close, I find myself upset by the news around me regarding this issue, but I think one of the more infuriating things I have learned about this month is the horrifying "trend" known as stealthing.
For those who are not aware, stealthing is when a man slips out of a condom or pricks the condoms without telling their partner, and it is a practice that has been on the rise according to an article from Columbia Journal of Gender and Law.
In this article, Alexandra Brodsky interviews multiple victims of the trend and found a startling but unsurprising discovery: all of the victims felt violated. They had intense fears of contracting an STD or an unwanted pregnancy. They felt as if a part of them was taken away, stolen from an unwelcome visitor.
I can only imagine, and for this so-called "trend" to emerge the same time as Sexual Assault Awareness Month makes me disappointed in encouraging both safe sex and sex life. For this trend to be on rise during last month is just shocking and upsetting to me, and it warrants a discussion I did not think was needed. I guess one step forward is really two steps back.
The article continues as Brodsky notes "Their stories often start the same way: 'I’m not sure this is rape, but. . . .'"
I'm not sure what it is that makes secretly taking off your condom while having sex without telling your partner fun, but it is sexual assault. It is rape. You are sexually involved with someone else under conditions they did not agree on. It's a breach of trust and an invasion of privacy.
They did not consent to your "stealthing," which is frankly an awful term for this behavior as it almost implies this sneaking behind your partner's back to be an admirable trait. I don't if going 'bareback' feels good for you because you haven't considered what your partner wants. Even the National Sexual Assault Hotline has received calls from people who have been victims of stealthing.
I highly recommend reading Brodsky's article for more of an insight to victims whose partners have done this to them. While April may be over, the fight to end sexual assault across all settings and environments rages on.
