"Ann, I need a girlfriend for cuffing season."

I stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief, as I took a bite out of an already-cold Junior Chicken. The other day, a friend and I had dinner at a local McDonald's, when the subject of "relationships" came up after a brief glance at his online dating profiles. We were both newly single, comparing dating profiles, each with strikingly different results.

"But you don't even need a girlfriend," I blatantly stated.

Despite being active on a few platforms for a couple weeks, it was clear I wanted to steer clear of a serious relationship for now.

For the longest time, I was always known as the "relationship girl" or the so-called "Taylor Swift of Journalism." I had a string of boyfriends since my sophomore year of high school, ranging from boys in underground grunge bands to fellow journalists. If I ended a relationship after a few months, it wouldn't take me too long to find myself in the arms of another guy.

In essence, crazy, whirlwind relationship stories were my signature party trick.

I found myself single nearly a month ago after yet another breakup, this time initiated by someone other than myself. After a month of therapy, Ben and Jerry's ice cream and a series of bad Tinder dates, I walked out of the market of popular dating apps only to realize that I'm better off being by myself for a bit.

"By myself" was a phrase I used to be scared of. "Alone" was a word I was terrified of even more.

I've always had a fear of eventually being alone, while I watch the rest of my friends move on with their lives and get engaged. Perhaps I was scared that being single meant that no one liked me enough to commit themselves, or that I was a little too much to handle. Landing a relationship, for me, meant that there was actually someone that genuinely liked me and that I'd have less of a chance of ending up alone.

I also had someone to call mine during the supposed "cuffing season," a period where otherwise single people land themselves in a relationship due to the pressures of cold weather and the impending holiday season.

Why did I choose to stray from relationships? I do not want to be pressured by a supposed term or a season to land a relationship, nor do I want to find myself in one before I'm emotionally ready.

I want to dive into passion projects and enjoy possibly the best years of my young life. I want to show myself that I do not need a man to be happy or to feel whole.

Perhaps that feeling of "wholeness" truly stems from within, and I will need a while to let it seep.