Dear Beautiful Fighter,
This letter was written to tell you that you’re not alone. Being eighteen years old, I have seen too many peers suffer from eating disorders and depression. I don’t want you to suffer, too.
I want to start off by saying that you are beautiful both inside and out. An eating disorder does not define you. There are ways to overcome mental illness. Try going to the mirror and look at yourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful. See that you’re human. Allow yourself to accept your flaws and the things you can’t control. Everyone is born with a different body structure. We were not meant to fit into one definition of beauty. Create your own definition of beauty.
The scale indicates a number. But that's all it is. A number. An eating disorder takes over your mind. Decreasing the number on the scale and consistently losing weight will never allow you to achieve what you want to achieve, which is ultimately happiness and acceptance. Recovery comes from accepting oneself. The goal weight you aim to achieve will never be enough. Begin accepting yourself. No one is better at being you than you.
I know the depression is tough. It’s difficult to do daily activities; get out of bed, leave the house, and engage in social activities. People with depression are much more likely to just put an end it all. I know this because I too dealt with depression in 9th grade when my great grandma passed away.
Please know that with the right resources it’s possible for you to overcome depression. You got this. You are so much stronger than your demons. While it is hard right now, once you get over this bump in your life, you will see how wonderful life is and can be. Be strong.
It’s clear you are pushing everyone away so they don’t see you suffer. You say you're fine, but you're not. You wear long sleeves to hide your self-inflicted injuries. Please take my advice in this letter. I want you to tell yourself you’re beautiful every time you look in the mirror, step on the scale, or take a bite of food.
I want you to put the razor down, put on some happy music, call up a friend and do at least one thing a day that makes you smile. I want you to speak up and get the help you need. No matter how hard it is, I know you can do it!
Different is better. Be true, be you. Forever, Bea-YOU-tiful.
Concerned friend,
Ashton Gurnari
