In the world we live in today, unfortunately, people get followed home, kidnapped, raped, trafficked, etc. At only 19 years old, I can sadly say, that I have been followed twice in the past couple years. Take it from me, this is how to stay safe, and what to look for.
1. ALWAYS Be Aware of Your Surroundings
I was followed home once when I was 14 years old when I was walking down the street from the store with my best friend. We walked down the road in broad daylight. As we headed to my house, a green jeep, we were later informed, had been watching us at the store, was following us down the road. They kept their distance behind us so we didn’t notice. Sometimes you won’t notice, but do your best to stay alert.
2. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS
Your gut is always right. They tell you to go with your gut for a reason. I have no idea why, but that day when I was 14, a woman in a white car took a U-Turn in the middle of the road after cutting that jeep off, approached us on the side of the road and told us to act like we knew her and as we did, she explained to us about the men in the jeep. The jeep immediately got behind the car and the woman told us to get in her car. Without hesitation, we did and the jeep followed us. If we stopped to second guess her, we may not have been here.
3. Potential Assaulters Usually Make Contact With Their Victim
According to the Sexual Assault Response Services of Southern Maine, 66% of attackers know their victim whether it be a friendship, intimate relationship, or by small encounters. I was followed this past May in a Walmart. A place so public, you don’t think about that sort of thing. My stalker was a man who came up to me in the underwear section and put his arms on me as if to move me out of his way and said, “Excuse me, beautiful” and made eye contact with a smile once more after this. That’s all they need, it is their sick way of thinking that is consent to do what they want.
4. If You Feel As If You Are Being Followed, Walk In A Distinctive Path
If you feel you are in immediate danger, do not do this, call 911 right away and get to safety. However, if you feel just uncomfortable by someone in a rather public area, if safe to do so, walk in a distinctive path, checking to see if they are walking the same or a similar path. I walked three distinctive paths in that Walmart, every time being followed by the guy, every time, he’d wait for me at the exit as I approached checkout. That was all I needed to go contact security.
5. If You Don’t Feel Safe Alone, Get Walked Out To Your Car
After that incident at Walmart, I went to the nearest employee almost in tears I was so scared. I was alone and felt unsafe. I briefly explained what was happening as my follower watched me, he headed for the door and I had a male employee walk me to my car and he stayed there until I was out of the parking lot and onto the main road. You aren’t inconveniencing anyone, you are saving yourself.
6. Remember As Many Details As You Can
When filing a police report, trust me on this one, you need to go in with as many details about the person and incident as possible. The more they know, the better chance they can get the guy and stop him from hurting or following another person. After that incident at Walmart I remembered they types of clothing he had on, the color of his clothes, he had a hat on, how tall he was, he was a male with dark hair and he had some facial hair. That was enough for them to recognize him if they saw him on security footage. If the person is in a car try to remember the make, model, color, license plate, and/or if it had tinted windows or not (if anything always chose the plate number). When it comes to the incident, remember as much as you can, detail for detail, and repeat it back to yourself. Many people tend to forget important details when in a panic, the repetition will help you remember.
7. NEVER HESITATE TO CALL 911
It’s always better to be safe than sorry and it’s always better to send an apology letter, rather than a letter to a lawyer.
Take it from a 19 year old who, because of all this, is a more alert person. Your safety is not meant to be taken as a joke or meant to be taken lightly. Safety first. If you don’t feel safe, get help and trust your instincts. And if you see someone who is in danger, help them. Call 911 or if you notice someone following her before she does, notify someone. Like the commercial says, “If you see something, say something”.
For more information about sexual assault and how to prevent it, feel free to click on any of the following links:
Sexual Assault Response Services of Southern Maine
AAUW- Preventing Sexual Assault on Campus
