It's that time of year again: the beginning of a new semester! After the refreshing and perhaps painfully long winter break, returning to campus can't come any sooner. You're back, bitches!
You reunite with friends, rekindling your love for all of your college homies or maybe the first stranger you see because you're finally back at school and just need to celebrate with someone!
With your college friends once again, you have the confidence to do anything!
But as you are reunited with friends, classmates, and acquaintances, you also reunite with the stress of having responsibilities again. Responsibilities hitting you in face like Josh hitting Oprah with his car.
Or maybe this tidal wave of responsibilities is like splashing into a kiddie pool filled with liquefied chocolate.
You may become hostile when having to deal with this mountain of returning responsibilities.
You can no longer be a couch potato. You must be an actually person and use your legs again and walk to class. Returning to a life of setting at least five alarm clocks daily and practically running to class, you never thought that waking up before 11 am would be so difficult. Like what is life?
You have to readjust to eating dorm food again, eating fake eggs for the fifth day in a row reminiscing about the home-cooked meals you enjoyed just one week before. You have grown savage, protecting any real food you can keep your hands on.
A few weeks in, you miss home...or just miss the washer and dryer. Oh, the days of free laundry! Where have you done? Why have you forsaken me?!
Let Drake and Josh explain to us how going to classes for the first week back is just like acting.
Then your new professors have the audacity to actually assign you something during syllabus week!
But remember: it's syllabus week. You're not going to waste your time with boring academic responsibilities. You're going to procrastinate like the admirable college student you are. Because...
You neglect those stupid syllabus week assignments and lie to yourself about how much of Parks & Rec you just binge-watched instead of being an accountable adult.
Arguing with yourself now like the very mature young adult that you are, you then realize that you can no longer binge-watch TV for 14 hours each day. You have a life now, but you don't have to do those lame assignments yet. Just do your thing and dance your heart out to the Drake & Josh theme song because you're finally back at college!
