Starting New: A Guide to Getting Over Someone

Starting New: A Guide to Getting Over Someone

How to move on and feel good about it.

Most people aren't strangers to break-ups nowadays. The awful, soul-crushing feeling we go through where we eat ice cream in our underwear and cry is only half the battle. There are plenty of guidelines to surviving break-ups out there, but not many that tell us how to move on and feel good about it, even though, right now that may seem like an impossible concept. But, there are ways to properly endure a relationship ending and come out clean on the other side, perhaps better than you were before.

  • Grieve
  • Don’t let anyone ever tell you it isn’t okay to mourn your past relationship; that it isn’t okay to curl up in your bed and sob while watching that episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel were “on a break.” With any loss, it is only healthy to grieve. This is the only way we can process what has happened and reflect on the good and bad of our previous relationship.

    • Let it Out

    This goes for guys and girls. We may live in a culture that frowns on girls being “too dramatic” and guys who show their sensitive side, but keeping your emotions bottled up is only going to hurt one person. You have to let your anger, your frustration, and your sadness out. Whether it was your fault, their fault, or a mutual decision – break-ups suck, so don’t try to convince yourself you’re fine when you actually aren’t.

  • Lean on your friends
  • Chances are, your friends hate the person who dumped you (or who you dumped, I really don’t know your life) just as much as you do. If they offer to help, let them. I’m not saying you need to agree to let your friends go egg your ex’s house, but let them be there for you in a healthy way. Let them take you out for a night on the town, or bring you a pizza and watch a movie with you. Your friends know you best; they’ll be able to get you back to feeling like yourself again in no time.

  • Cut off all contact
  • This tip is very time sensitive. I don’t care what the situation is, there is no reason for you to be talking to your ex mere days after the big blow-up. You cannot expect yourself and them to grieve the relationship and have a chance of getting over it if you keep on speaking to them like nothing happened. This means no texting, no lurking on their social media accounts, and no asking your mutual friends how your ex is doing. After a few weeks – but, personally, I’d say months – you can start thinking about rekindling a friendship with that person, if you really want to. Give yourself – and your ex – a chance to have some space and time to yourself before jumping on the “let’s still be best friends” train.

  • Don’t play the “What If” game
  • Sitting around and saying, “Oh, what if I had been a better significant other? What if I had gone with them to that party? What if I had been more agreeable?” is only going to make you feel more miserable. Playing this game of “what if” is just plain torture. Do it all you want, but it does not change the fact that you can’t change the past. Besides, even if you had done all those things that came as afterthoughts, there is no guarantee that those things would have saved your relationship. So don’t torture yourself.

  • Take your time before moving on to a new guy/gal
  • Using a new person to get over the old person is the oldest tactic in the book. Sure, it might make you feel good for a little while, but at the end of the day you’re only going to think about how this new person isn’t your ex – and there you are back at step 1. You have to be emotionally stable before you can bring a new person into the mix. Enjoy your time as a single man or woman. Concentrate on what activities and goals make you happy, without constantly feeling like you have to rely on another person to make the sun rise and set for you. You can do that for yourself.

  • Learn from this relationship
  • Perhaps one of the most important things for you to remember is that this relationship was not entirely a failure. With every relationship – romantic or otherwise – we learn what we like and dislike about a person; what traits are deal breakers and what qualities we want the person we end up with in the long run to have. In addition, you now know what you can do better in your next relationship [and there will be a next relationship, I promise]. And that next relationship will wipe away the tears and painful memories from this break-up. You can only move up from here, so chin up and make every day one for the books.

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    21 Funniest Pick-Up Lines I've Ever Heard

    Are you my appendix? Because I don't understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

    With Valentine's Day behind us, I spent the day pondering (and researching) some of the greatest pickup lines I've ever heard. I wondered if I could compile a master list and, with a little help from some friends, I did it. Here's what we came up with the 21 funniest pickup lines I have ever heard:

    1. "Do you have Acne? Because I want to get Proactive with you."

    My best friend/roommate Courtney thought of this and I cried. All credit to her. (She's single, so hit her up.)

    2. "Are you my appendix? Because I don't understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

    Anatomical pick-up lines for the Grey's Anatomy fan in your life.

    3. "How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice....Hi, I'm ___."

    For when you just need to find a way to say hello.

    4. (Hold out hand) "Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?"

    Simple. Direct. Useful for the cute dog-walker you always see walking at the park.

    5. "Is your father Little Caesar? 'Cause you look Hot n' Ready."

    Everyone loves pizza.

    6. "If you were a transformer, you'd be a hot-bot, and your name would be Optimus Fine."

    ...Get it?

    7. Check the label on their shirt. When they say, "What are you doing?" You say, "Just checking to see if you were made in heaven."

    Even if it says "100% cotton," just roll with it.

    8. "Can you hold on one second? I have to show you the prettiest girl I've ever seen." (Hold up front-facing camera on phone.)

    Someone try this and tell me if it works.

    9. "Girl, you're like Mastercard.....priceless."

    Keeping it classy.

    10. "My friends bet me that I wouldn't start a conversation with the most beautiful girl here. Want to go buy some dinner with their money?"

    Makings of a first date 101.

    11. "You look familiar. Did we have class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry."

    This works even if you're not in a Chem class.

    12. *In a museum*. "Hi, I'm ____. I would shake your hand, but that sign says not to touch the masterpieces."

    Monet ain't got nothing on you, babe.

    13. "Do you have 11 protons? Because you're sodium fine."

    Likely to be most effective if the person is a science-lover.

    14. "If you were a triangle, you'd be acute one."

    Buh-dum tisssss.

    15. "Is your name Wifi? Because I'm feeling a strong connection."


    16. "There's 21 letters in the alphabet, right? Oh...never mind, I missed u r a qt."

    Now I know my ABC's.

    17. "On a scale of 1-10, you're a 9. And I'm the 1 you need."

    Keep 'em coming.

    18. "Are you Physics 212?" [No...] "Well you're something I just couldn't pass."

    Particularly useful if you failed a few classes (we won't judge).

    19. "Is your face from McDonald's? Because I'm lovin' it."


    20. "Do you mind if I walk you home? My mom always told me to follow my dreams."

    Mama's boys unite.

    21. "You remind me of chapstick....You're the balm."

    I gagged a little reading this the first time.

    If you happen to try any of these, report back on how they work. Happy Valentine's Day to all.

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    The Do's And Don'ts Of Tinder

    The official guidelines to the dating app

    Ladies and gentleman, I bring to you the official Tinder Do's and Don'ts. Listen up.

    Don't just say "hey" or "what's up"

    This is Tinder. Don't be boring. It is unlikely you are going to get a response.

    Do message first with a cheesy pick up line

    Just innocent and funny. Nothing creepy or sexual. And don't be afraid to message first.

    Don't only have one picture

    Not only blurry group photos. Not only shirtless pics. Have variety!

    Do send gifs

    Gifs are fun and casual and always lighten the mood!

    Don't have a lame bio

    Don't to be too serious. Don't be too weird. Don't leave it blank.

    Do have pictures with puppies

    Nobody swipes left on a puppy. Also, pictures with your little niece will increase your swipes.

    Don't ask for phone number right away

    She barely knows you. She is going to leave you on seen.

    Do use quotes from The Office

    She will fall in love.

    Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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